I Said 'I Want S'more' Dammit
by SugoiByoshin
Summary: Two orphans, two aspirations, one journey. No, I didn't steal that.
1. Chapter 1

A/N : To all those that i said i'd have this up on May first must have mis-read my message, what i meant _was _the "first part" of May, feel me? Get some glasses, damn...anyways, feelz good to be back! )

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's charcters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

(Prologue)

Not all wondrous, amazing duos begin smoothly...or even on purpose. There's no such thing as Fate, Destiny doesn't exist, and not too many people know what Kismet really means, but this teaming up of mighty existences was no mere occurrence of chance.

"What you do these people end now!" Hong Lee called out with clenched fists as he and his wife Ming watched in anger as Alistair Coulter rolled into a small town located in a poor district of southern Beijing. Coulter and his crew of English thugs were more feared than the frightful Triads in the parts of China which they patrolled, demanding protection money and the joy to 'test out' new brides before the actual groom.

Fortunately however, the two lovers and crime fighters decided to take action against Coulter and his gang of crumpet eating miscreants.

"You said, what?" In his proper and disdainful voice, Coulter responded to the two black gi clad fighters. He twisted one end of his blonde handlebar mustache as his thugs spread out behind him and the penniless townspeople spread out behind Hong and Ming in the massive dirt clearing in the middle of the tiny town.

"You collect no more from these people!" Ming called out, stomping down her smalled slippered foot, "Not money, not chickens, and not they brides!" The crowd cheered behind them and Hong and Ming smiled and looked to each other in confidence.

"I must admit, this comes as a most unpleasant surprise. I was looking to buy a horse a new monocle with today's collection." Coulter pointed behind his band to where their horses were standing, scowling just as furiously as the thugs.

"That _not_ going happen!" Hong yelled out and crouched down into his fighting stance, holding one hand out, with his fingers bent into a fierce grip like he was holding an invisible sword handle. Ming slanted herself sideways slightly, kicking one leg high into the air parallel to her torso and held both hands out forwards, "Prepare yourself for deafening blow of Lee Double Super."

"Is it accompanied with chips?" Coulter laughed out richly and his thugs joined in the rigorous harassment,

"The savage chinks believe that they are gymnasts!" A well fleshed thug added, slapping his massive belly heartily. Even the horses began cackling, stomping shoed hooves and swinging braided, lavish manes.

the amusement ceases

Hong and Ming's answer to the harassment, sunk all the merriment into silence as the dust from the ground began lifting and the beaming sun scurried away behind the clouds in the sky. A massive sandstorm swirled around Hong and Ming as they focused the ethereal energy of the universe. Panic grasped Coulter and his men as they looked around at each other through terror, beginning to consider a retreat for the first time in their history of being roughnecks.

Townspeople covered their mouths and faces from the storm, and the English horses begin to turn and run, but Hong was having none of that. There would be retreat for them this day.

"There no escape from Double Super!" He grabbed a hold of Ming's leg, flipping her through the air and onto his right shoulder, holstered like a bazooka and took magnificent aim. The massive ball of purple energy forming in between her two hands launched forwards and Coulter could only hold his hands out in desperation, but it was far too late.

The energy of the blast doubled that of the sun and Buddha himself had to look down from his perch on high to make sure he didn't create the blast himself. The devastating blow lasted only a few seconds, the energy dispersed and as the dust was finally allowed to settle, the only thing that remained of Coulter's horses were the sparkling metal shoes. The victory was short lived however, as Ming slapped Hong hard across the face and escaped his bazooka hold.

"We aiming at Coulter!" Ming spat furiously as Hong turned his head and eyes at Coulter and his livid gang, unscathed and healthy.

"I think that...well that monocle...and eeh..." Hong stuttered through his explanation, but it was useless, as is any man's excuse as to why he did something his woman, or any woman in existence didn't agree with.

"Well then, men..." Coulter said as he shouldered his musket rifle and his thugs followed his lead and took aim at the two wide mouthed and witless Chinese, so-called crime fighters.

"Oh geez." Hong whispered and closed his eyes as numerous single shots rung out into the wind and ended the reign of the short-lived and apparently futile 'Lee Super Double'. This obviously was _not_ the duo that was mentioned in the first sentence.

Onufrii and Klavdia Morozov, two middle aged Russian immigrants and/or emigrants, not to be confused with 'illegals' sneak through the cold and dark, night streets of Chelyabinsk, a Russian city close to the border of Kazakhstan. They pant and sweat, constantly looking behind themselves for any pursuers or onlookers. They finally gain refuge, stopping at one of the numerous abandoned warehouses cluttering the area. Onufrii, the man, grabs a hold of Klavdia, the woman, by her wrist, and pulls her into the dank building. The panting and sweating ceases and they look deep into each other's eyes with undying devotion.

"Do you anticipate any such pursuance at this locus?" Klavdia asks, slumping down beside a bare, brick wall and Onufrii shakes his head with a sly smirk,

"Inviolable we are at this roost, my love." Onufrii answers confidently as he removes his gloves and begins rubbing his hands together for warmth.

"But are we not categorically intramural with the border of Kazakhstan?" Klavdia asks with an air of doubt and Onufrii looks over with a wide grin,

"That's what makes it so dirty!"

He erupts in laughter and Klavdia joins in with giggling of her own as they reach for each other in the heat of bawdy teenage passion. Grabbing and tearing at the other's clothing, the two forty year olds begin rolling on the dirty, wood floor, ignoring the splinters, loose nails, and scurrying, voyeuristic rodents. They are simply glad to be away from their annoying offspring for once, abandoning him at the rest-stop.

A few grunts, a couple moans, and exactly sixteen seconds into the adoration, the couple is interrupted from their multitude of techniques as an unexpected roaring wind is heard from above. Onufrii curses as he reluctantly pulls himself away and peaks up and out the window, eyes widening at a massive battle helicopter roaring high above. It bears the flag of Kazakhstan, obviously, and the pilot's eyes are red with fury.

"The KNB!" Klavdia yells in terror, pressing her cheek against her husbands, looking out the same window. They both hurriedly throw on whatever clothing possibly as they rush for the exit and bullets rain down like metal, lethal hail from the heavens. The scantly clad Russians dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge the falling barrage, hurrying for the border which is their only hope for survival.

Somehow the buildings behind them begin to blaze with fire as they run, ignoring the pain underfoot from the poorly kept road, which is actually just a dirt path, leading uphill to where they parked the black and blue volga. Somehow they believe deep in their hearts that they will survive, possibly to be in the other's warm arms again, all be right in the world, Ashlee Simpson will stop making music, but all such dreams are crashed as their son's global head comes into view.

That pudgy face, those ridiculous freckles, his god-awful eyebrows, everything they regret in life staring down at them as they attempt to make it up the now never-ending hill. Onufrii actually gives up, knowing it's probably not even worth it anymore, and he feels a chain of bullets penetrate his back. He sighs in gratitude, knowing he'll never have to watch his son throw the baseball a mere two inches ever again and collapses to the ground. Klavdia closes her eyes as she shares the same release, the release of the torment which is having to wash the boy from head to foot because he's afraid of water coming from the shower head. Having to walk through the grocery with people starring at the grown boy demanding to still sit in the toddler seat. The sweat release.

"MOMMY!" The boy's head jerks up in his uncomfortable bed and he hits his already enormous head on the bottom of the top bunk. The nightmare's images still reflecting in the tears that well in his eyes. He falls back onto his pillow and sees his bunk mate's spiky black haired head swing over the edge and glare daggers at him through the cold night.

"If you want to wet your bed, keep it to yourself, but if you wake me once again, there will be no salvation." Jann Lee swings his head away and the only sounds that reverberate throughout the neutral Swiss orphanage are the sobs of the twelve year old Bayman.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

From the archives of the Equality Persistence Orphanage : Switzerland : Location Classified : But probably somewhere northeast, just for continuity reasons

Subjects : Jann Lee; Bayman Insert Common Russian Last Name 

Jann Lee came to the EP Orphanage at age eleven, after being found wandering around Beijing, China, skipping from one theater to another trying to illegally watch free viewings of Martial Arts films. He foolishly stumbled into a Bruce Lee marathon and was picked up by a special agent sent specially from Thailand to deal with such gifted children. Street children usually aren't preferred for such an esteemed Orphanage, but his power level was so far off the scale of normality, he was given special clearance as a candidate.

He and this Thai agent, a "Protector", battled for some time, Muay Thai against the beginnings of Jeet Kune Do, but eventually Jann Lee relented and was brought in. He is a loner around the other children, not responding to much of anything. An introverted child, or perhaps just a jerk who thinks he's better than everyone else. Such things will be decided soon, but for now, he isn't a threat to the safety of others.

Bayman however is the exact opposite of the young Chinese prodigy. He is the Russian Representative in the EP Orphanage, but after much deliberation from the staff, this decision may not have been the wisest. He is by far the most troublesome child in the facility, ranging from, but not limited to, his profane mouth, refusal to obey simple instructions, humorless pranks, and hostile crimes of vandalism to Orphanage Property.

One such example, the Headmistress found the troubled boy slamming holes into the walls of the medical office with a knife and spoon, used as one would a hammer and chisel. The Headmistress, motherly and strict Amalda Huber, asked why he was placing holes into her walls. An obdurate Bayman looked up petulantly, spat once onto the floor, and responded with a much inappropriate, "I don't make the holes, beyatch, I make em bigger! Yours however, I had nothing to do with, but I'm sure you could ask any man in the surrounding area!"

Bayman has received lashings everyday since he has arrived, some days more than once. He obviously isn't any sort of masochist since he cries and yells whenever his punishment is meted out, but such amercement does not yield him in the slightest. Perhaps one day, his true psyche will be revealed, but if not, the incinerator may not be the worst option, that is, if his massive head will fit through the hatch.

The breakfast bell sounds at exactly 6:40 in the morning, as it does everyday, and thirty four of the children in the EP Orphanage all wake and crawl out of their bunk beds, alert and ready for the day. The thirty fifth however, takes a second to languidly wipe his bulgy eyes, stretch his plump arms high over his global head, and drags his slippered feet to the organized line of children walking down the long white walled hallway. All of the children are still dressed in their identical light blue pajamas, the only difference is each of their unique national flags sewed onto the right breast of their short sleeved shirts.

Bayman slides into the line next to the shifty eyed Mexican representative, Aurelio, and the pasty boy from Norway, Frode, his only two friends in the entire facility. Bayman runs his palms down the front of his un-tucked shirt trying to iron out the wrinkles, but to no avail. Aurelio looks over and chuckles amused,

"The Headmistress is going to get you again, Bay, thats real." Bayman looks over with a confident smirk,

"Nah man, I'm thirteen today, everybody is exempt from punishment on their birthdays. I might even get some from Tanya today, I'm a teenager now! I'm turning over a new leaf." Bayman grins from ear to ear as he looks ahead in the line to see the tall Swedish beauty, blond hair flowing from head to thighs, all fifteen years of curvature.

Both Aurelio and Frode burst into laughter, knowing Bayman has no chance with the most popular girl in the orphanage, and overhearing, Abdullah, the African boy adds his own cackle,

"You wouldn't need a _big_ leaf to cover that embarrassing ding-ding of yours." Bayman tolerates his friends berating him, but not the 'click-click' boy who thinks he's some sort of brave warrior, still dancing in the bushes of his savage lands.

"What did you just say, boy?" Bayman scowls daggers at the much taller, and much older boy, and quite foolishly since Abdullah carries his tribal spear with him wherever he goes. No weapons are allowed indoors, but none of the Orphanage staff have the courages to take it from him. Tall, muscular, and although he's only fourteen, he's got a full grown beard and probably some kids! Behind him stands his harem of girls which include the Navajo girl, Susanne, who claims she's a mystical priestess, the Italian girl, Paola who's always mumbling about whacking people, which excites Bayman only because he's an idiot, and lastly the Canadian girl, Penelope, whom seems normal enough on the outside, but is suspected to worship Stan, the Lord of Darkness himself.

"I know you didn't just call Abdullah 'boy'!" Penelope steps forwards as Paola points her hand out, with her fingers in a form of a gun and Bayman recoils. Abdullah hefts his spear high, with a menacing gleam in his eyes, but one of the male staff members rushes forwards, wearing his black uniform.

"Bayman stop causing problems and stop holding up the line!"

"This nig--this young man was trying to impale me, sir. I promise I didn't--"

"Shut up, Bayman, and move along. King Abdullah, sorry my people oppress you, keep up the struggle."

The staff member rushes away in fear and Bayman turns back around with a scowl, but he's determined to show that he's a changed boy. Especially if Tanya will notice him, or even that cute Japanese girl Kumiko. Ohhh, what he wouldn't give to be her kimono. Bayman shakes away the thought,

"New leaf, new leaf. What I wouldn't give to take her out for some green tea at a strip club. That's better." Bayman smiles proudly and continues down the corridor towards the cafeteria.

Jann Lee glowers over his plastic tray of runny eggs, burnt bacon, and stale toast, sitting by himself in the far back corner of the large cafeteria, the same place he has been sitting for the last two years. The circular tables are made to fit at least four, but Jann has pushed the other three chairs away. Every other orphan knows not to come close, but thats not to say sometimes they don't think about it. That ugly duckling Dorota from Ukraine is always looking over towards him, but then again she makes cow eyes at big headed Bayman as well.

Jann dives his plastic spoon into the eggs and grimaces before eating the bland bite. He glances upwards as he sees a wave from the young Vietnamese boy, Quang. Jann doesn't mind the new arrival, but he's not looking to get the boy's hopes up by making friends with him, only to abandon him as soon as his plan reaches fruition. Jann ignores the boy as the terrible threesome walks into the cafeteria, late as usual.

Jann doesn't pay much mind as he returns to his meal, but is pulled back at hearing Bayman's shrill voice,

"It's my birthday, Jones! Just one more piece of bacon! I'm not asking for a run at your daughter!" Bayman is reduced to futile begging as his henchmen drag him away and Jann shakes his head and picks up a piece of crispy bacon. He brings it to his mouth, but the burnt stench sends his stomach tumbling and he tosses it back on his tray and slides the plastic away.

"You wasting food?" Frode asks in his thick accent and Jann looks up to see the terrible threesome crowded around his table.

"That fat bastard Jones hoards all the bacon, and here you're wasting it!" Bayman balls up his fist as if to do something, but Jann isn't intimidated in the slightest. The only other orphan that could even give him a challenge is Afro Thunder, but that wouldn't be much of a fight after he loses his spear.

"Take it then." Jann says in his low solemn voice, sliding the tray towards his idiot of a bunk mate, but Bayman shakes his head fervently,

"I don't need your pity! I'm a teenager now! If I wanted it i could just—" Bayman trails off and his brow furrows, as if he's battling inwardly, and surprisingly backs away, "You know what, forget it, pork is unclean anyways...I hear..."

"Que tal, Bay? What you doing?" Aurelio asks bemused, but Bayman simply walks away towards another table, and his henchmen look at each other with confused glances and then rush to follow him. Jann doesn't worry too much as to what just happened, simply dives into his pocket for his ten cent kung-fu manual that he received from an old homeless man in China and thumbs through it until breakfast is over.

After breakfast, the orphans shower and dress into their white and blue uniforms, same as their pajamas mostly identical, and head out for yard activities. Bayman, Aurelio, and Frode all rush to the concrete basketball court, running as fast as they can, but they are no match to the long, powerful legs of Abdullah, and he beats them there.

"Beat it you scavengers, this is my house!" Abdullah cackles bouncing the basketball rapidly in one hand, his spear in the other, and Aurelio steps forwards,

"You have five seconds, skid mark. Yo putas aint here to block us this time."

"Basketball is my country's sport! Go play soccer...my bad, 'futbol.'" Abdullah doubles over in laughter and Aurelio clinches his teeth. Frode claps Bayman on the shoulder,

"Let's deal with him!"

Bayman looks from his friends, then to the towering Abdullah, and then over his shoulder to beautiful Tanya whom is doing gymnastics with some of the other girls, and then back again, catching a glimpse of his bunk-mate sulking by himself over near the impenetrable security fence.

"Maybe we can let him have it this time..." Bayman swallows weakly and his friends both scowl at him,

"You serious? Bay, you starting to act like a lil bitch." Aurelio demands furiously and Frode nods,

"Go play with Quang and Clive if you want to be weak and smily-smily all the time! We have a reputation to uphold. For three years, kid!"

Bayman turns around and walks away, trying not to listen to Frode and Aurelio berating him from the court. For once, he actually feels good about himself. All he needs to do is gain enough light side points to impress Tanya or Kumiko, and then he'll revert to his old self, that should work just fine. He plops down in the grass where the seven girls are doing squats and bends, looking as graceful as the pure swans as they are. Unfortunately, butter faced Dorota is the only one that waves at him, ruining the moment completely.

"She was on that show 'The Ugly Duckling' and got voted off first if I do recall. Something about scaring off viewers and cameramen alike..."

After an equally disgusting lunch, the children gather in the computer laboratory and complete their electronic lessons for the day under the watchful eye of five supervisors, four of which crowd around Bayman's station to insure that he doesn't cheat.

"I told you, I'm a changed man! I'm like Carlito, I've rehabillitated myself." Bayman explains and the four men look from one to the other and then back at Bayman,

"Who the hell is Carlito?"

"Al Pac—oh yea...uh, some guy on the television the other day...yea...not important."

Bayman clicks on the 'submit' button to send his half-assed lessons to the central computer to be graded and the supervisors recede and exit the room, allowing the children the freedom to use the Internet as they please, as long as the 'Net Nanny' decrees the site is morally acceptable. Bayman thinks to continue his search for a pornography site that slipped through the cracks, but he decides against it.

He looks over his shoulder and sees Jann with wide eyed astonishment plastered on his face, the lucky bastard sitting next to Tanya. slip through?" Bayman asks, sliding his rolling chair towards Jann, but his cautious bunk-mate quickly closes the window with a glare,

"I don't look at such things."

"Who are you, The Carver?" Bayman jokes with a giggle and then looks over at Tanya, looking at some cute baby clothing site. She's just so beautiful and pure sitting over—

"Wait, baby clothes!" Bayman leans in closer and Tanya squeals as she flails her arms from the startled movement, sending Bayman crumbling from his seat. The other orphans begin to laugh, Aurelio and Frode making their derision blatantly the loudest. Bayman's cheeks redden, and not only from the powerful attack. Bayman picks himself up and rushes out of the room, but doesn't get far before the next bell rings, signaling the pre-dinner nap.

Bayman ignores it and continues trucking it down the hallway, pushing staff members out of his way, and finally finds a supply closet to stash himself in. He feels tears in his eyes, but he refuses to let them flow. He's trying to be nice, not weak. He rests his head against a soft, yet dirty mop and allows himself to drift off, dreaming of the torturous death of the Net Nanny, that prudish bitch.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

Bayman giggles to himself as he makes the long walk back to the bedrooms, thinking about all those pure virgins he's going to get for being good. Feeding him grapes in spicy lingerie that covers just the important bits or maybe they'll just fold their wings over themselves. Screw Tanya, she was a boy's crush and he's an underarm hair growing teenager now. He rubs his hands together in anticipation, just a few more light side points and he'll be a Jedi and that's when--

"THERE HE IS!" Bayman halts in his tracks at the fear instilling sound of Headmistress Amalda Huber's commanding voice. Outside of the boy's bedroom chamber stands almost the entire orphanage, save the underpaid Hispanic maids and Jones. Tanya is crying hysterically, wearing a white robe, dripping from head to toe as if she just went through some sort of chemical decontamination.

"You all miss me that much? It was nap time, so I just used the--"

"Stop right there! Matthew, Walter, grab him!" Amalda commands and Bayman only has time to squeal before he is in the hands of the two largest staff officials. Amalda was always strict, but this is out and out cruel, and Bayman has no idea why!

"What did I--" Bayman is violently interrupted as Tanya rushes forwards and slaps him across his face.

"I laid in it, you sick bastard! I laid in it!" Tanya buries her face in Amalda's bosom and sobs uncontrollably and Bayman looks around, drowning in confusion at all the derisive and disdainful looks on everyone's faces.

"I don't even know what's going on!" He cries out, uselessly struggling against his human shackles.

"Bayman I am so disappointed in you," Amalda begins, seemingly on the edge of tears, "This is the worst and most despicable thing a man could do...in a woman's bed..."

"I'm telling you--" Bayman chokes on his words as one of the officials elbows him in the side,

"Silence, beast!" Walter always seemed like a gentle beast, but not here, not now. Bayman struggles to re-open his eyes, biting back the pain, and searches the crowd. He sees Aurelio and Frode, both smiling sinisterly. They had to be the culprits, no one else would have any reason to set him up.

"How many lashings this time, Headmistress?" Walter asks with a great level of anticipation and Bayman's eyes buldge.

"This was no prank, this is simply malicious. Lashings simply won't be enough," Amalda answers, her face a mask of stern retribution, "Take him to the cage!" The mob bursts into cheers and Bayman throws himself to the ground in front of Amalda, tugging on the hem of her long black dress,

"Please, Headmistress, you know me! I'd never do this...whatever it is! Sure Tanya thinks she's an American, having kids at fifteen and all, but I'm over that! I hope that kid comes out just fine, and that she doesn't drop it like that Brittney bitch did hers. I swear!"

Amalda looks down, weighing and measuring him with all six feet of her prowess. Pity in her eyes, or perhaps a sort of compassion. She raises an eyebrow in thought, pensive for a long moment and then she speaks,

"Who's this Brittney you speak of?" Bayman almost gags.

"Uh...Brittney Williams, she was a character in this book I read...yea, never mind."

"Haul him away!" Bayman closes his eyes and clinches his jaw, knowing at this moment how it feels to be a minority in front of a juror of his 'so-called' peers.

After Bayman is dragged away, the crowd disperses to travel back to the cafeteria for dinner. Aurelio and Frode dawdle behind for a second, smiling dastardly at each other.

"He had a good run, but it was just too much of a risk." Frode says solemnly and Aurelio nods,

"It's true. The ends justify the means. It had to be done." They turn to each other and hold their hands up, palms flat,

"High five!" Then stop and look down at their hands and laugh deviously,

"Better not."

"Oh come on, just a scrap! My stomach is burning!" Bayman yells, holding his hands out of the cracks in between the thick metal bars of the hanging cage right outside the cafeteria. The satisfied orphans flood out of the doors, smiles on their faces and steak dinners in their stomachs. Not once in all the time that Bayman has resided in the orphanage have steaks been served!

"Jones you fat fagget!" Bayman hollers as loud as he can, trying to re-situate himself on the hard, metal floor of the cage, covered with bits of itchy, hay, poking him in his posterior with every move. Abdullah walks passed, still with A.1. Sauce at the corners of his mouth, his sycophantic bitches following at his heels.

"Hey, King Abdullah, help me out here!" Bayman begs and the tall boy looks over with a sneer.

"You shame all the men in the world, pudgy little white boy. Wasting your powers in such ways." He begins to turn, but Bayman reaches out, but regrets it immediately as the devil worshiping Penelope bites down on his hand. He withdraws immediately, but continues talking,

"C'mon! It wasn't me! It was my old gang, they sold me down the river, but only because they knew I wanted to join you guys! Yea, buddy! I wanna be part of your harem. I'll even wear a dress, just like all those black actors had to. You know, to be discredited? I'll discredit myself, just use that spear of yours and stick it in that hole."

"I won't stand idly by and listen to this foul mouthed innuendo, you sick freak!" Paola demands and holds her gun/hand out at him and Bayman withdraws to the back of his cage whimpering. The four of them continue on down the hallway and Bayman catches a glimpse of the two youngsters, Clive and Quang walking together.

"Hey, you two, help me out of here!" Bayman snaps his fingers at them and Clive and Quang walk up to him and look up suspiciously, "C'mon squirts, help me and I'll never lock you guys in the girls' bathroom ever again."

"Sorry, Bayman, but we have to take this baby to Tir Asleen." Clive and Quang both coddle some baby doll in-between them and Bayman scowls, but knows its his only chance.

"I'll take care of the baby, Clive, just help me out of here. I know the way, I promise. I'm ten times bigger than you two, I'm a brave warrior, just give me a sword and I'll win this war for you." Bayman promises and he can see Clive and Quang deliberating together, but Bardric, the seventeen year old German boy walks up, shaking his head.

"Don't mind him, kids, just move along. He's fool enough for one thousand and aint worth a squirrel's fart."

"Don't do this to me, Bardric! I've never done anything to you!" Bayman demands angrily and Bardric scowls and points his finger derisively,

"What you did to Tanya is unforgivable. You sit in your coffin and rot!" Bardric grabs the two boys by the hands and leads them off and Bayman presses his face to the bars and yells through,

"Wait for me, Bardric! When I get out of here I'm going to cut off your head and stick it on the tether ball pole!"

"You yell far too much to be attractive," Dorota says as she walks passed him, by herself as usual, "I used to like you."

"F that, beyatch! Who are you to talk down to me? Your face looks like a crater shat on in! You've got enough spare tires around your massive waist for a family of truckers, and, but not limited to, you've got both reproductive organs!" Bayman throws a handful of hay out the bars and Dorota runs off screaming and crying.

He sees Kumiko walk passed and immediately reaches to the back of his mind to remember the tiny bit of her native language that he knows,

"Hai, Onegai, Morimoto-sensei!" She looks up with a perplexed stare, eyebrow raised and Bayman smirks,

"You see, I'm well traveled in the world. I'll take you on my private jet if you help me out of here, whatcha think?"

"You're challenged, Bayman, seriously. Always drooling at me. I'm not just some piece of meat! I have feelings, I have a mouth, but it's used to express myself, not what you want it for! Maybe if you treated me like a person, then--"

"You know what, just keep walking, unless you're doing gymnastics, you're a real bore." Bayman waves her away and she huffs and continues walking. He squints in an attempt to see her cheeks moving as she walks, but she's got no ass.

Shrugging indifferently, Bayman sits in the back corner of his cage, exhausted and furious. He closes his eyes and thinks of how Quai-Gon meditated to open the field before battling that Sith. His useless thoughts are interrupted as he hears soft padded steps coming from the cafeteria and a soft mumbling, as if someone is talking to themself. He knows that voice though.

"So it's tomorrow then, because Mark is switched out for the new supervisor, they won't even notice I'm gone until I'm out of the country. And then it's on to this tournament..." Jann Lee chuckles to himself and Bayman smirks insidiously,

"Leaving are you?" Jann stops in his tracks and looks up with a stunned look on his grave face, "Talking aloud of secret plans may not be the best option in the future."

"Bayman...didn't know you were still alive."

"Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins."

"Like they'd believe you anyways." Jann Lee turns away and continues walking, but Bayman chuckles mirthlessly,

"What better time to rat on someone than when you're in trouble yourself?" Bayman throws it out there, wondering if it'll work, and as Jann stops in his tracks, he continues, "I don't care where you're going, just take me along, just outside of the orphanage. There's nothing left for me here, Tanya's a slut, my henchmen are fickle pervs, and I finally talked to Kumiko and I wanted to drill through my head."

"You're too dangerous to be left alive." Jann turns around with fire in his eyes, muscles and tendons bulging and heat radiating off the top of his head.

"Going Super Sayajin won't do anything. I'm a piglet when it comes to food and I know there's leftovers in the cafeteria. I'll plow over you in a second to get to those steaks, I kid you not." Bayman attempts to flex his own pitiful muscles, but they're non-existent.

"Tomorrow at activity then, but if you slow me down, I won't hesitate." Jann relaxes and continues walking and Bayman almost thinks to offer up praise to Yoda himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

Bayman opens his eyes languidly to the sound of footsteps approaching and he sees Gina, the beautiful blond haired nurse, walking towards his cage with Quaid, a militant security officer at her side. In the past, she would always have such a compassionate disposition about her, but today, her red lips smirk vindication. Bayman stares at the the two of them through exhaustion and sorrow, this malicious torment too cruel for even Paris Hilton's fan club members.

"So, have we remembered anything yet?" Gina asks condescendingly, looking at her charts for a quick second, but Bayman continues to stare blankly, "I'd advise you to start talking while you still have a chance to live." Bayman doesn't relent.

"Talk!" Quaid demands powerfully, pointing his taser in Bayman's face, but before Bayman has even the slightest chance to speak, Quaid fires. His body seizes up all at once and begins convulsing uncontrollably.

"Looks like it's starting to take affect." Gina cackles mockingly and Quaid looks at his taser through immense surprise,

"I didn't mean to shock the poor kid, I was only trying to scare him." Bayman's spasming body begins slamming into the metal bar's painfully and Bayman scowls,

"Go-od...jo-b...ther-e...chief..." Bayman finally stills, saliva dripping from his mouth and steam rising from his singed skin.

"Yea, that's my bad," Quaid begins, "We were sent to let you out for yard activity, but you're going right back in. Understood?" Bayman smirks inwardly, ready to take full advantage of the ChickenHeadmistresses' kindness.

"I understand fully." Bayman says to the two, and then to himself, "But I _won't_ be coming back." Gina inserts the key and turns the tumbler, allowing the cage door to loosely swing open and Quaid assists a sore and stiff Bayman from his cell.

"The other kids are on their way outside, would you like to eat first?" Gina asks and even though Bayman's stomach is digesting itself and all surrounding organs to keep him alive, he shakes his head. He doesn't need Jann leaving without him. It's his only chance. All Asians are smart, so Jann must know what he's up to.

"Then follow us."

Jann Lee leans against a large tree next to the security wall of the orphanage, surveying the other kids at play. Such pitiful tools they are. Content with following the same routine every freakin day and never wondering why no potential parents stop by to inspect them for adoption. Because this place is no conventional Orphanage, it's a prison, and he's going to leave it behind. The new supervisor will be held responsible for--

Jann Lee's thoughts are sent fleeing as he sees Bayman stumbling outside, shielding his eyes, with Gina as an escort. He never thought the boy would be released, he only told him that he was escaping to keep him content, but this...oh this wasn't expected. Someone must be planning to sabotage him. Could the Headmistress have found out?...Impossible!

Jann watches as Bayman makes his way towards the tree, the other kids maliciously spitting at him and throwing twigs and rocks, and other less dangerous objects like plastic batons, tennis balls, and shuttlecocks.

"Pervert!"

"Hentai!"

"Monster!"

"Al Qaeda!"

"Sauron!" Jann Lee lifts an eyebrow at the last one, and looks to see who said it, and isn't surprised to see Clive and Quang running around playing Lord of the Rings again.

Surprisingly, Bayman doesn't even seemed fazed. This boy's resolve is incredible, escape fueling his every move. It's unfortunate what Jann must do next.

"Hey, bunk mate, didn't think I'd make it." Bayman says, pulling a pair of soiled drawers from his head.

"Surprising how similarly we think." Jann answers, his mind spinning as he thinks of ideas of how to rid himself of the troublemaker. All eyes are on Bayman, there'll be no way to make a clean escape unless he misdirects him.

"So what's the plan? You be Wentworth, I'll be Dominic." Bayman begins, an easy smile creasing his lips and Jann takes a deep breathe before speaking. He'll go to hell for this.

"You see this tree?" Jann points upwards to a rope tied to a higher branch, left there and discarded long ago, "I've plotted the trajectory on the Y axis and the momentum you'll need to reach...the ideal inertia. Yea..."

"Sweet. So I swing over and land outside the wall?" Bayman asks hopefully and Jann almost sighs, surprised that he soaked up that dribble like a dry and often ridiculed sponge.

"Good, so you go first since I'm faster and it'll be easier for me to catch up." Jann Lee starts stepping backwards as Bayman takes a hold of the sturdy rope and attracts every eye in the Orphanage. He can't really go to hell since he's ensuring the retard isn't allowed to re-enter the real world. He simply wouldn't survive. Jann Lee reaches his true escape route, and uncovers the hole he's been digging since he arrived. A few inches every day truly pays off. Those enhancement pills weren't lying.

The false sod peels away easily enough and Jann looks down into the deep chasm which leads directly to the drainage system, which he has plotted out on the Internet. Blocking porn sites was useless, they should have blocked which yes, does exist, no need to check up on it. Jann Lee takes one last look around to ensure that no one is watching, and places his leg into the hole.

"Hey, Jann Lee is escaping!"

"Are you f'cking kidding me!" Jann Lee looks up, his blazing eyes turning red through fury and he sees Dorota squealing at the top of her lungs and pointing as she jumps up and down, her rolls bouncing and flopping all around.

"Why didn't that fat bitch just off herself!" Jann Lee scowls furiously, but like a flash of very girthy lightning, Bayman sails through the air and slams his elbow into her face.

Dorota drops fast, and Bayman then spins around and trips the legs out from underneath the new supervisor before he can launch his taser at Jann. Bayman leaps over Abdhullah's spear, and knee's him in the jaw. Dropping to the ground, he leg tackles him and a loud crack is heard as the NBA prospect slams to the ground.

"NO!" Susanne shrieks hysterically, "The Spear of Power! I will use my powers to resurrect it!"

She reaches for the broken spear, but Bayman grabs her hand and twists, producing another shriek,

"Listen here you, incompetent mass! 'Susanne' is not a Navajo name! You're last name is 'Williams'! You aint no damn priestess!" He throws her to the ground crying and rushes over to a wide eyed, gape mouthed Jann Lee.

"That was..." Jann Lee swallows nervously, half impressed, half frightened. He decides to just go for it, "Hey, there's a hole here. Woah, imagine that! I just found it. Forget plan A, let's just use this to escape."

Jann laughs nervously as he endures Bayman's long, vindictive stare, but finally, Bayman smiles,

"Sure, that rope couldn't hold me up anyways." Jann Lee sighs deeply as the alarm begins to sound and he doesn't hesitate to leap down. He falls a good ten feet, and rolls forwards as Bayman drops down behind him. There is only forty feet of crawling until they reach the metal door of the sewage canal. Jann Lee pushes the door open and the repugnant stench almost knocks him backwards.

"Good thing I didn't shower today...or ever." Bayman pulls his shirt up over his nose and Jann Lee slides into the cramped tunnel, his knees and hands damp with waste.

"It's only about a mile of crawling, then we're free." Jann Lee takes off at a swift crawl, knowing that the Headmistress is already plotting on where they'll come out at. Bayman begins behind, but he gasps as something closes in around his ankle.

"Aye, ye lads won't be escaping today." That voice belongs to Jones, Jann doesn't even need to look.

Bayman pulls forwards, dragging Jones into the tunnel behind them, but the large cook is too large to fit. He coughs and gasps as the metal walls clamp around his massive stomach. Bayman easily wriggles free and turns around, sinister as Malak,

"All that stolen bacon, all them leftover steaks, I'm almost glad it was you that pinched them and not me."

"Ye won't escape, no one does." Jones says angrily, his face reddening. Bayman snickers maliciously and leans close,

"We will escape, but I leave you with this. THANKS FOR MAKING STEAKS THE ONE DAY I COULDN'T EAT EM!" Bayman drops his elbow down on the cook's face repeatedly, then picks up a handful of the source of this horrendous stench and shoves it deep into the man's mouth, "F'ck being nice, ya hurd?"

"I'm not hearing much," Jann Lee says from the distance, "Be like the baby tomato and catch the hell up." Bayman smirks and rushes after Jann Lee with a certain satisfaction flowing through him. Not quite as fulfilling as a woman, but close enough.

The boys crawl through the tunnel system, turning and climbing, sliding and slipping for a little more than half a mile until coming to the exit that Jann Lee was banking on. He pushes upwards on the manhole cover and slides it away, the sunshine welcoming him like a Wal-Mart employee, a bit too happy and excited for their own good. He places his soiled hands on either side of the narrow, one way street, and pulls himself out. Trees surround the area as far as the eye can see, ideal surroundings to lose a chase...unless they have dogs.

"A lil...help." An out of breathe Bayman hollers up from the tunnel and Jann Lee reaches down and helps him out without hesitation. As much as he hates to admit it, Bayman was as much a factor in that escape as Jann himself was. And thanks to Jones, no one was able to follow them.

"We're heading west for Basel. From there I'm going to Japan, you can do as you wish." Jann Lee explains and Bayman nods his head with a smile,

"Japanese brizzles are mad hot, dude. Mind if i piggy back until we hit the land of the rising...ummm."

"Sun?" Jann asks, a bit bemused, but Bayman shakes his head,

"No, no, I was thinking of an erection joke, but I'm too tired." Bayman giggles to himself, but he cuts off as they hear cars approaching and Jann curses,

"Shit, I knew they'd be able to plot our course, c'mon!" Jann Lee takes off to the west, blasting through the trees as the black cars come into view. Bayman quickly follows, but peeks over his shoulder to see Quaid, Matthew, Walter and Richard rushing towards them.

"You can't escape, boys! We'll take you back in body bags if we--" Matthew was too busy trying to sound intimidating, he wasn't paying any attention and runs headlong into a tree. He falls hard and Quaid and Richard jump over him as Walter does some sort of spin move to juke his unconscious body. Bayman leaps over a squirrel as he sees the metal taser spike launch passed his eye. A poor bird explodes in a cloud of feathers and the spike is retracted.

Jann Lee looks backwards as he ducks a branch and sees that Quaid and Richard are both hot on his trail. He could risk turning and fighting them, but he can't handle all that electricity running through him at once. Especially if it's like Stan Lee's electricity that can surpass brick roofs. A rabbit scurries underfoot, and as Jann dodges it, he trips over a fallen log and slams to the ground. He dizzily sees Quaid approaching and quickly re-closes his eyes, feigning unconsciousness.

"Stay on the ready, Richard, Chinese kids are crafty. Finger handcuffs my ass..." Quaid holds his taser out cautiously, and Jann sees his opening. He quickly throws dirt into Quaid's face, sending him recoiling and Richard shoots a startled shot. Quaid falls to the ground, his body convulsing, and before Richard can recover his taser, Jann Lee rushes at him and launches himself into the air with a powerful kick.

"WAAATAAA!" The kick sends Richard slamming through trees trunks, not affected in the slightest by downward gravity until he lands in the center of a den of coyotes.

"What kind of story telling is this!" Richard yells, but he should have used his last words to form a prayer, because the hungry beasts rip him apart. Jann Lee lands in a huff, trying to decide what to name his unrivaled, brutal, dragon like kick.

Jann Lee drags himself out of the forest, attempting to find any sign of Bayman and surprisingly, he sees the other boy stumbling out on the other side of the road.

"I think I lost him." Bayman says, huffing and puffing with his hands on his knees. Jann Lee looks around, trying to figure out which direction is which, but he catches a glimpse of Walter.

"Watch out!" Jann Lee yells out as Walter emerges from the forest and lunges at Bayman, but Bayman leaps forwards, evading perfectly.

He rolls off the road as a bus comes out of nowhere and Walter doesn't have much time to do anything before it makes a pancake out of him. Bayman and Jann Lee's eyes widen as the bus comes to a screeching halt and Walter's shoe comes bouncing back on camera.

"Holy shit, did I just hit something!" The driver asks as the doors open, but Jann Lee can't find words. All of a sudden Bayman drops to his knees, tears in his eyes,

"You killed our papa! How horrible! Papa!" Bayman grabs the man's legs and sobs and Jann Lee lifts a brow through confusion.

The driver looks at Bayman and then at Jann Lee and curves his mouth in disbelief,

"You two are related?" Jann immediately realizes the plan,

"Yea...and our late mother was a midget. Such a Saint our father was...and you killed him..." The driver looks from one boy to the other and finally responds,

"I thought they prefered to be called 'little person', or am I sounding prejudice?"

"Yea, that's pretty discriminatory," Jann begins, "You trying to get back good with Buddha, you could start with giving us a free ride to Basel."

"Yea," Bayman chimes in as he stands up, wiping away wetness, "And we get to sit in the front row...actually, since you killed my noble father, I should get to drive!" The driver opens his mouth to contest, but Bayman continues to run over him, "And you buy us the best French hookers when we get there!" Bayman demands fervently but the driver shakes his fist,

"Now thats pushing it!"

Back at the orphanage, Headmistress Alda sits alone in her office, furious and displeased at the half-assed effort from her men. Her best men have failed her, and for such, they have been sentenced to death. Jone's is already rotting in his tomb of waste. She hears a knock on her door and looks up,

"Enter." Gina steps through with a large, muscular man behind her. His hair is a silvery white under a white turban and he wears army fatigues. Surprisingly handsome for such a gruff and seemingly emotionless man.

"The one you requested." Gina bows and withdraws, leaving the two alone. Alda stands to her feet and offers her hand. The man takes it with a nod,

"Why would an orphanage have need of my services? Why not the local police?" The man asks and Alda shakes her head,

"You have no loyalties, but to currency, correct?"

"It's a bit harsh when you say it, but yes."

"Then I can tell you the truth. This facility is a facade. We have kidnapped these children from all of the major threats around the world to study. We have found out much of what is genetically inherent in the different Ethnicities in the world. Yes, Switzerland is neutral for now, but that is only until we have enough research to strike."

"Impressive...and cruel. I flew from Italy with a certain doubt, but this...this is attractive."

"Good, this is all you need." Alda proffers the stranger an envelope containing certain information on the two boys, "The Chinese boy is much more important. Let the bumbling Russian escape, he won't survive on his own, but if Jann is able to mature into an adult, he may just be unstoppable. Success is the only option."

"Of course, Ms. Alda. My name is Leon and I'm a professional," Leon licks his lips voraciously, "Put those two together and bring me a delicious and delectable pre-pubescent Natalie Portman."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

Bayman squirms around in his uncomfortable high backed seat, sitting next to Jann Lee on the loud and crowded, slow moving bus heading for the Tri-Country city of Basel. The smells of unbathed European flesh is acrid and Bayman is pretty sure the crying, soiled baby behind him isn't wearing a diaper and/or smeared its present on the back of his seat. There is one occupant on the bus that catches his attention however. In the seat directly across the aisle, next to the far window sits a tall, long legged blond with the most gorgeous massive, voluptuous...eyes...he has ever seen.

"Pssst, hottie?" Bayman calls across the aisle, holding onto the edge of his seat as the bus bounces up and down on the uneven, mountainous terrain, "Hey!" Bayman waves his hands wildly, attempting to attract her attention, but the woman continues reading some woman's magazine about self independence and the empowerment of women or some such rubbish, "Psst! Oprah's ridiculous ideals can wait, I'm trying to tap!" Bayman continues his wild display unsuccessfully.

Jann Lee looks over and elbows Bayman in the side angrily,

"Dude, shut up, you trying to get us kicked off? Sexually harassing adult women that aren't teachers could land young men like us in serious trouble."

"Yea, I'm trying to land in something all right." Bayman cackles as he continues waving his hands, but to no avail. He turns towards Jann and looks down at the boy's pocket and sees some sort of folded paper sticking out.

He thinks shortly of the repercussions of looking gay by reaching down there, but that busty chick is more important, "I'm borrowing this!" Bayman snatches the paper away and crumbles it up with the quickness before Jann can grab it back.

"You bastard, I need that!" Jann reaches over, but Bayman hauls back and launches the paper ball across the aisle, smacking the woman in the forehead.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" The beauty transforms into a beast as she spins towards Bayman with rage in her fire red eyes and her mouth curls into a snarl, allowing sharp fangs to be visible. Bayman almost wets himself, frozen in fear and Jann quickly turns towards the window,

"Wow, these Swiss Mountains sure are something, huh?"

"I...I...I..." Bayman stammers, thinking fervently for an answer as the woman scoots closer to the edge of the seat.

"I'M GOING TO FEAST TONIGHT!" The woman growls and Bayman imagines the woman's normal form saying that, but its still terrifying. He just aint into that SnM freaky-deaky stuff. He quickly looks to the seat behind the woman and an idea floods forth,

"I'm sorry, mam, I was aiming at her." Bayman points to a teenage girl behind the beast and the girls blue eyes light up with some sort of hope.

"Me? Really? You were trying to get my attention, big boy?" Bayman looks at the girl again and decides she's not too much on the ugly side. Her nose is a bit big, and she looks like she might be one of those 'free-thinkers' but he's desperate.

"Uh yea, cutie, all the way." Bayman answers and the beast woman begins to calm down, but Jann has to step in with his non-sense.

"You mind if I get that paper back?" The beast growls loudly and grabs the paper and tosses it down her throat, swallowing in one gulp.

"Ya know what, never mind." Jann turns back around scowling and Bayman sighs and begins to face back forwards, but the teenage girl quickly leaps diagonally from her seat onto Bayman's lap.

"The hell?!" Bayman gasps from the added weight and the girl smiles wickedly at him, almost psychotic with those eyes,

"I think I might just be in love with you, you big hunk of man."

"Listen, I just needed a distraction, I didn't mean what I meant." Bayman explains indifferently and the girl's eyes widen.

"You were toying with my emotions?! No one toys with Hitomi!!" The girl grabs Bayman around the neck with her powerful, calloused German hands. Bayman loses all breathe immediately and he reaches over and grabs Jann's arm, but the Chinese boy pulls away laughing,

"Serves you right, Gayman." Bayman growls, knowing that he should never have reached down there. His face pales as Hitomi continues to strangle him, but Bayman is able to muster a few strangled groans out.

Hitomi leans closer through intrigue,

"What did you say?" The bus driver turns around for a quick second,

"Sounds like he said 'There's still a chance to save Han', but thats just me." He turns back around, barely dodging a semi and Hitomi loosens her grip.

"What you say?" She asks again as Bayman coughs air back into his lungs,

"I said I wanted to do the sex dance with you mom!"

"Boy, you stupid." Jann says from beside as Hitomi sends a barrage of slaps into Bayman's face, sending blood and spit from his mouth and tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" Bayman yells as he is accosted and scratched with fake press on nails, "Someone save me from the second coming of Hitler!" Hitomi dives her teeth into Bayman's neck, sending a strangled yelp from his throat, "And she's a vampire!"

"Beg, bitch, beg!" Hitomi cackles, Bayman's blood dripping from her mouth.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, please let me live!" Bayman cries out and Hitomi halts the attack and stares deep into his eyes,  
"You mean it?"

"Yes! I think you're beautiful! That brown hair is like...a waterfall...of chocolate?" Bayman clears his throat as Hitomi throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, you do love me!" Bayman looks over at Jann, desperate for assistance,

"Help me! This bitch is crazy!"

"Huh?" Hitomi tilts her head, looking back at Bayman and he laughs uneasily,

"Nothing, baby..." Hitomi plants a kiss on Bayman's cheek and returns to resting her heavy head on his shoulder, leaving little white specks on his shirt.

"This shit is South Pole!" Bayman says angrily and Hitomi turns back towards him, a promise of another attack behind her eyes if Bayman don't repent and he laughs again nervously, "But who cares about Black people shirts?"

"Basel Airport!" The bus driver yells out as he slams on the brakes and Bayman and Hitomi both slam forwards into the metal driver's cage in a violent crash. Jann looks over excitedly, but curses as he sees Bayman languidly recover. He looks down at the unconscious Hitomi and crosses himself ten times and does about ten Hail Mary's and praises Zeus, and all those other guys that have spat on him all his life.

"I may have wasted my one divine intervention, but it was worth it!" Bayman says happily as he stands up and brushes dandruff from his expensive-ass shirt. All the other passengers file out and Bayman finally steps out into the aisle and bus driver smiles at the boys,

"Sorry about your pops, but press on with your lives and become something special! Like doctors or scientists, not violent brutes who fight for money and fame."

"Of course not." Jann promises as he steps over Hitomi's body and jumps down the bus steps.

"Oh, there's an unconscious chick back here. At first, you might be tempted, but once you check out that face, you'll change your mind." Bayman warns as he begins out and the bus driver shrugs,  
"Meh, I got fifteen minutes before my next departure."

"You'll wind up on Dateline in tears, Sexual Predator Edition...with Chris Hansen...watched by millions?" The driver perks up with a hopeful smile,

"I can get on TV if I have relations with her unconscious body?"

All of a sudden fearful, Bayman backs away cautiously, jumps down from the bus and runs at full tilt to Jann who is already walking towards the large airport.

"Oh wait!" Bayman halts in his tracks before they reach the entrance and Jann turns around with an awkward glance, "The airport is actually on French soil. Doesn't that make you feel dirty?"

"I feel dirty anytime I'm around you." Jann turns back around and continues walking and Bayman cringes and rolls up his pants legs. He then finds two discarded trash bags and wraps them around his sneakers.

"Ugggh." He gags as he steps into the loud and bustling airport.

Jann barely dodges a business man, wreaking of gallons of Axe, probably attempting to mask the smell of foreign hooker from his person. He looks around at the directory, hoping to find the proper gates for Asian Flights.

"So what flight we getting on?" Bayman asks, announcing himself with the crinkling sounds of the trash bags.

"Well some dumbass through my itinerary at some beast bitch so now I don't freakin know!" Jann raises his hand to strike, but stops, an ingenious plan snapping into his mind, "I got it."

"Huh? What?"

"You're no stranger to the immoral side of living, right?" Jann asks and Bayman raises an enormous eyebrow,

"Whatchu mean?"

"We need to find Japanese people who have already purchased their tickets and shanghai them! Then we just use their tickets."

"We're going to Japan?" Bayman asks confused and Jann sends his fist into the boy's face, sending him hurtling into a trashcan,

"Look for some damn Japanese people!"

The boys set out on their mission, sneaking surreptitiously through the busy airport, seeking out folks wearing Kimonos or eating nasty-ass egg drop soup, or sneak attacking other countries. Jann Lee rolls under a seat and army crawls across a waiting area as he spots a young man sitting alone, holding a Sudoku puzzle book. Jann smirks and rubs his hands together and leaps towards him. The man's eyes widen as Jann tackles him from his seat and pins his face into the carpet,

"Japanese?!" Jann asks angrily and the man groans out an answer,

"Que'?"

"Don't try and lie! Spanish peeps can't do Sudoku puzzles!" Jann demands and the man holds the puzzle out and Jann notices that he was using the pages from the book to make paper rafts. Probably some sort of escape plan.

"Damnit!" Jann lets the man up, scowling,

"Uhhhh, sorry."

"Que'?"

Jann brushes himself off, grumbling as he walks back towards the main lobby of the airport and spots his stupid ass partner at the food court, stuffing his face with half eaten, discarded food. He growls loudly and rushes across the airport and launches himself across the room and knees Bayman in the face, sending him flying backwards into a table, knocking it over and sending French people running in terror, holding up white flags and/or white napkins.

"Get back to work!" Jann Lee yells and Bayman wipes mayonnaise covered fries from his hair and nods his head. Jann Lee rushes off and Bayman pulls himself up and looks around and spots a couple of perfect candidates. He bolts away from the food court and catches up with two well endowed flight attendants,

"Hello ladies." Bayman uses his most charming smile and the two beautiful young women turn around,  
"Oh Bonjour."

"Oh God! My ears!" Bayman turns around and runs away, slipping and sliding on his trash bag clad feet. He catches a glimpse of a young man with slanted eyes and smirks, sliding to a halt. He turns around and tackles the teenager, pinning him to the ground under his girth,

"Give me your ticket, Jap!" Bayman yells furiously, and receives an elbow to the mouth for his trouble,

"Bayman, you idiot!" Jann Lee squirms from underneath with a warlock rivaling scowl.

"Sorry man, I can't tell the difference! Slanty eyes, black hair, little pen--"

"Say it! Say it mutha f'cka and you'll lose your tongue!" Jann Lee draws his arm back, but Bayman turns and flees squealing. He doesn't know for how long he runs, but he finally stops, winded and takes a seat at a waiting area in front of a gate. He leans his head back on the seat and looks over at the two little kids sitting next to him.

A splitting grin overtakes his face at seeing their distinct Asian features, pretty much just the fact their eating noodles, but Asian none-the-less.

"Hi, kids." Bayman says with his most comforting tone and the boy looks up nervously, "You're not flying alone are ya?"

"Mommy and Daddy said we were ready." The boy answers in a soft tone and Bayman erupts in devious cackles,

"Mommy and Daddy didn't anticipate you two running into Bayman, five time heavy weight champion of Tether-Ball." Bayman rises up, trying his best to look daunting, flexing his fatty deposits to resemble something like muscle and grins sinisterly.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

"Welcome aboard, cuties! Can I see your boarding passes?" The over excited flight attendant at the gate greets Jann and a grinning Bayman, more proud of himself than the time he drank an entire bottle of Listerine and gained super powers...for about five seconds, then he fell into a coma for about three days and had his stomach pumped, but for five seconds he had x-ray vision.

"You sure can, sweetheart!" Bayman proffers the two boarding passes and Jann looks on quite doubtfully. The flight attendant looks at the slips of paper and smiles, handing them back,

"Well welcome aboard Mr. _Chang_!" Jann Lee almost loses his footing as rage overpowers him, Bayman still grinning ear to ear. Jann looks up at the flight information, '#643 TO BEIJING'.

"MR. CHANG?!" Jann Lee yells as he grabs Bayman from behind and the flight attendant hops back with a yelp.

"Ouch, dammit!" Bayman squirms free and glares at Jann, "How about a 'thank you' you ungrateful--"

"We're going to Beijing!" Jann growls and the flight attendant raises an eyebrow,

"Is something wrong, Mr. Chang?"

Jann looks around as security officials start enclosing on the area and out of the corner of his eye, he sees two unconscious Chinese children, lying in a puddle of noodles. He can barely breathe.

"There's nothing, wrong, Miss, I'm just SOOO excited to be going to Beijing!" Jann laughs nervously and snatches his boarding pass away and rushes through the gate, leading to the airplane.

"Thanks again." Bayman smirks and follows Jann through quickly and the flight attendant continues attending people in the line, "Dude, what the hell is your problem? I got us in!" Bayman says, clapping Jann on the shoulder happily, but Jann grabs the boys hand and counters him, sending him slamming into the wall of the tunnel,

"You got us onto a flight headed for CHINA!!" Bayman spits out blood as he recovers and looks over his shoulder,

"Well, that aint so bad, aren't China and Japan touching?"

Jann Lee holds back tears as he slumps down onto the ground, covering his face in his hands on the verge of hyperventilation,

"Give me strength, my lord, give me strength."

"If you want to go back out there and get some more tickets, then let's go, but there's no need to cry about it." Bayman suggests casually and Jann uncovers his face, fire in his eyes,

"Yea, because that won't look at all suspicious! Not to mention that those poor kids you beat up will probably be awake by then!"

"They were easier targets than one of the Emperor Hirohito's samurai, dammit!"

"Oh thats awesome, you know the name of an Emperor, but you don't know that Japan is an island, you should be in freakin books!" Jann picks himself up and continues on towards the plane and Bayman reluctantly follows behind. The drooling pilot greets the boys as they enter, slumped against a wall not to fall on his face. Jann pushes passed him, almost knocking him down, "Have another drink, jackass."

"Hey, that's not very polite!" The co-pilot disparages, but Bayman rushes forwards,

"Oh, don't mind my friend, he's just sad that we have to leave this beautiful country so quickly." Bayman chuckles as he walks passed and catches up to Jann who looks down at his name boarding pass,

"My name is Yi?! I have to be the girl?!!" Jann yells furiously and the surrounding men and women look at him awkwardly as Bayman stops at his side.

"What you all do during your personal time is up to you," An older woman says reproachfully, "But keep it to yourself. Damn experimenting kids."

"I'll break your got damn neck!" Jann demands, turning to face the hag, but Bayman grabs him and pushes him down into his seat in the middle row.

"Cool off, Yi, you'll get us kicked off the plane!" Bayman suggests and Jann grabs his pillow and dives his teeth into it, ripping it apart like a rabid hound.

Bayman sits straight up in his seat and doesn't look over as the pilot's slurred voice comes over the intercom,

"Attention valued...people...I'm pretty sure we're going to Beijing and it's a long ass flight...so uh you can either sleep...well if that turbulence stuff don't attack us...or watch the garbage movie, or just sit there. I don't really care, just don't be loud, my head f'ckin hurts. I downed like, thirteen shots of--"

"Joe, shut the f'ck up!" The co-pilot switches off the intercom and the flight attendants walk down the aisles, ensuring all the safety measures.

"Oh, look who it is." The flight attendant that checked the boys in stops at Bayman's side and smiles, "How are you boys d--, oh wow...would you like another pillow?" Jann spits out the fluff in his mouth and snarls, foaming saliva dripping down his chin,

"If you don't get out of my sight in the next five seconds, you'll share this pillow's fate." The woman doesn't hesitate to flee back down the aisle and Bayman's mouth widens,

"You, cock-block! I could so have that!" Jann reaches over and grabs Bayman's ticket and laughs mirthlessly,

"Good luck with that, _Hong_! You tard baby!" Jann continues to laugh sinisterly and Bayman frowns and sits back as the plane takes-off. Bayman strains to find the girl of his dreams and sees her and the other flight attendant busying themselves with the drink carts as the plane reaches cruising altitude. He winks and smiles at her and she waves back, pushing the cart up the aisle, offering drinks. Bayman dries his sweaty hands on his pants, and steadies his knee as she arrives,

"And what can I get for you, cutie? Sprite or juice?"

"I'll have a--" Bayman is overrun by a relentlessly hostile Jann Lee,

"Hey, sky waitress, why not get me a Gin and Juice with a swirl of your love juice in it. And then you can rub some ice cubes over your nice, perky titties, and then go ahead and plunk em in there. That'll be swell." Both Bayman and the woman's mouth's gape and Jann sucks his teeth, "What? Oh you want more punishment you walking STD? Why don't you peel that little outfit off and do a little jiggle dance for me. Your humiliation will sustain me."

The woman rushes away in tears and Jann Lee sits in his chair, laughing uncontrollably and diabolically. Bayman inhales slowly and looks over,

"What the hell is your problem?!"

"You beat up kids to get on a flight to China, you asshole!!!" Jann Lee grabs Bayman by his mop of hair and begins slamming his head into the chair in front of them repeatedly, "I'm going to jam your ass in the turbine engine you walking mass of uselessness! I wanna see your body all ground up and then I'm gonna sprinkle it on my eggs and feast--"

"Hey, kid, stop it!" A security official rushes over and grabs Jann's hands and quite painfully, pulls them away from Bayman's hair, unfortunately with more than a few strands wedged in between.

"God, save me from this demon!" Bayman yells, tears rolling down his eyes and he hugs himself close to the large man.

"Woah, kid, hands off! I heard that weird stuff you guys were into, and I don't swing like that." The man pulls away and Bayman pats his raw scalp where the hair is missing.

"Now what the hell is this about beating up kids?" The man asks sternly and Jann scoffs,

"Mind your own business, rent-a-cop. We're rehearsing a play over here." Jann says, letting Bayman's hair join the pillow fluff on the floor,

"We're not rehearsing a play! He's going to kill--" Bayman gets smacked again and breaks down into more tears.

"This kid's a joker!" Jann wraps his arms around Bayman's neck and squeezes tightly, clapping his hands on his chubby back, "I love this guy like a cousin!"

"Can I trust ya'll to be civil for the rest of the flight?" The man looks fearfully from Bayman's depseration, and then to Jann's iniquitous eyes and clears his throat, "Yea, I can trust ya'll. Uh...be good." He turns around quickly and rushes away holding his pepper spray for protection.

"God, don't leave me with him!" Bayman curls up into a ball and rocks himself back and forth, trying desperately to find his happy place.

"Deers and meadows. Nice little rabbits playing so happily..." Bayman whispers to himself and Jann cackles beside him,  
"I'll eat their babies. Get them deers out of here, son, i aint messin with you! Bambi and Thumper gonna be on my mantle in a minute!"

"Oh geez, run you poor creatures, run!!" Bayman cries out and curls up on the floor and Jann continues his torment.

Jann Lee grabs the other flight attendant, a young timid Chinese woman, as she walks passed and she swallows hard.

"Hey...I'm not gonna hurt you, sugar pea. I just want some headphones to hear the movie with." Jann shows his teeth in a mock smile which is too frightening to describe.

"B—But the movie isn't set to start for another two hours..." She answers and Jann laughs lowly and speaks in eerily calm voice,

"Do you really wanna keep me waiting? I'm in a very bad mood, and I'm planning to do very bad things unless you put on something entertaining right now."

"Umm—ummm, we were going to show 'The Lady from Shanghai', is that okay?" Jann chuckles to himself,

"That old ass movie. What do you think?"

"Umm-ummm, what about--"

"You like Asian shit? How about we go a bit more recent with that nice one, Full Metal Jacket?" Jann suggests and the flight attendant swallows again,

"That's not...ummm, suitable for this audience..."

Jann Lee takes a hold of the flight attendant's hand and leans closer to her, cheek to cheek, and whispers,

"I've killed puppies and kittens for much, much less. Do you think you're cuter than a cuddly little kitten?" The woman scurries away without another word and Jann Lee leans smugly back in his seat. In less than a minute, the screen activates and the movie begins.

No one thinks for a second to turn off the movie, and by the end, more than half of the plane are in tears and Jann Lee laughs triumphantly as he watches the credits roll.

"Ohhh, that shit is raw!! Dammmmmnn!" Jann Lee turns around in his seat and stares down at a hysterical little girl, "Did you see that shit? Thats what happens in war! They aint pullin no punches for yo ass! Marry a doctor or a teacher or something, hahahaha!" Jann Lee turns back around and takes a sip of his specially mixed alcoholic beverage.

"Hey, sugar pea!" Jann Lee snaps his fingers and the fight attendant comes back, "I wanna look out the window." The flight attendant turns around to the other row of seats and the man sitting by the window seat grabs his chicken dinner and rushes away towards the lavatory, "Nah, nah, not that window."

"Well, Mr. Chang, which one?" She asks through nervous suspicion and Jann laughs heartily and then looks her dead in the eye,

"Tell the Co-Pilot to gather his things."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

As soon as the plane lands at the outdoor depot in Beijing, the occupants don't waste any time in fleeing from the scene, flailing their arms and screaming wildly into the air. Some praising Buddha for allowing them to have survived the crises, and then some cursing at the Deities of the Heavens for allowing such a monster to escape from Hell. Jann Lee stumbles down the ramp wearily, half asleep and not remembering a thing.

"Oh dude, I need an Aleve the size of a--" Jann is bumped by a fleeing woman, clutching her wailing baby close,

"Oh no, I touched him! I'll be struck with Leprosy! Someone save me from this fate!!" She yells, rushing into the throng of people and Jann looks up confused,

"The hell is she talking bout?" He swivels to where to Bayman stands to his left, looking over askance.

"You mean you don't remember?" Bayman questions suspiciously and Jann shakes his head, only causing his headache to grow worse. He coughs into his hand, and then sniffs and almost gags,

"Is this...alcohol? Bayman, was I drinking?" Jann asks stumbling onto a wooden bench near the street.

"You may have had a few, yes..." Bayman answers as the plane explodes in the distance and both Bayman and Jann leap to the dirt ground in surprise.

"Just what the hell happened up there?!" Jann yells and Bayman grabs him by the collar of his shirt and shakes him hard twice,

"The airplane was taken hostage by a psycho, dammit! But the important thing is that no one important was killed, so we move on with our lives!" Bayman releases him as Chinese firefighters rush towards the scene, but a woman warns them.

"Don't come any closer, the Devil's son himself walks among us! He breathes fire! We need the Ghost Rider!!" She runs off screaming as a middle aged couple come running to the blaze,

"Oh no, our Hong and Yi! We don't see them! Someone please help us find our children!" Bayman looks up nervously and clears his throat, not wanting to hesitate too much.

"Uh, Mr and Mrs Chang?" Bayman springs to his feet and pulls a small airline booklet from his pocket, flips it open, and then closes it quickly, "I'm part of the Airline's Special Forces." The two Chinese parents look towards him intently, "Young Yi and Hong are probably the luckiest Chinese children in the world right now since they _weren't_ on that plane. Half these boys will become serial murderers and the girls will probably hit the pole, and hard. These people have been traumatized in the worst way."

"So where are our kids?" Mrs. Chang asks desperately and Bayman adjusts his shirt before continuing,

"Unfortunately, Mr and Mrs. Chang, your kids had to be taken into custody at the airport. They were uh...trying to smuggle an illegal...uh, Basel Ferret onto the plane."

"Oh no!" Mr. Chang clutches his heart and Mrs. Chang grabs a hold of his hand.

"Yea, the law is iron-clad, I'm sorry. But if you go talk to the pilot then--"

"Oh god, the Pilot's dead!!" The co-pilot yells out from the conflagration and Bayman clears his throat loudly,

"If you talk to the co-pilot I mean, they'll get everything sorted out." Mr and Mrs. Chang shake Bayman's hands through relief and smile,

"Oh thank you, so much, sir! What was your name again?"

"Uhhh...my name? It's uh...Spartan. My name's Spartan."

The Chinese couple rushes off and Bayman exhales deeply and plops down on the bench where Jann is still sitting, slumped over and snoring,

"I'm so going to hell." Bayman rests his chin in his cupped hands to attempt to think of the next move until Jann wakes back up as a handsome young man in an expensive, purple Chinese suit walks over towards them. His hair looks silver in the sunlight and his expression is pure determination and drive.

"We're you all on that plane?!" He asks through the utmost concern and Bayman nods his head, "Well thank Buddha that you all weren't harmed!"

"Oh but weren't we?" Bayman asks disinterested and the man smiles widely,

"Well then thank him that you're alive! Listen to me, boys, I'm a Divine Prophet like Muhammad or say, that other guy, Paul or Peter, one of two. Listen! You must throw away all desire in this world!"

"I'm not interested, really." Bayman attempts to turn away, but the man leaps with such grace back into his vision,  
"Do you have an idea of what the Eight Fold Path is?" The man continues and Bayman blatantly yawns wide,

"If it doesn't lead to Japan, then I don't care much about it."

"It leads to Nirvana, my child!" The man dives into his pocket and retrieves numerous different pamphlets, "Take one! Free of charge!"

"Look, dude, all you're doing in giving me that is telling _me_ to throw away so you don't have to look sacrilegious by doing it yourself. If that religion was the one for me, I would've found it by now, probably from a hot Asian chick, not you." Bayman begins to stand up and wake up his partner, but a man from the plane comes running towards them with a beer bottle in tow.

"Watch out, my child!" The man yells and Bayman turns around just barely in time to see the bottle spiraling towards him and the man leaps forwards, sacrificing himself to the impact. He lets out a chilling yell and falls backwards in a splash of blood and beer and the attacker turns and flees, yelling about the minions of Satan. Bayman looks down at the man with wide eyes.

"Are you alive, preacher?" Bayman looks down at the man's eyes rolled backwards in his head and shakes him slightly. The man's eyes spring open and he pops up, knocking his head into Bayman's even harder one and they both recoil, "Dammit!"

"No time for cursing, I've had a vision!" The man pops up and stands on one foot, his other bent in the air and his arms are stretched in some sort of fighting stance, "This feels right! I saw the future my boy, and you were there! And so was your friend, I don't even know him, but he was there."

"I think some of that blood tainted alcohol may have seeped into your being. You should probably go to a hospital to make sure everything is functioning." Bayman suggests and the man laughs aloud, an actual comforting laugh, but thats beside the point,

"No, my boy! I'm functioning correctly for the first time ever! What was it that Luda said? The more drink in you, the harder the fight? From hence forth, I shall no longer force my beliefs on others with words, I shall beat it into them!"

The man spins around on his one foot, and lands on two, and then pops backwards, almost as a drunkard would move and then tosses his left leg upwards and falls backwards smoothly and lands on his back,  
"You ever heard of Zui Ba Xian Quan?" The man asks, lying in the beer soiled puddle and Bayman raises an eyebrow,

"Is that a Chinese Pornstar?"

"When we meet again in the future, my boy, you will know well enough! Ha-Ha!" The man springs to his feet and rushes away towards the sprawling buildings of Beijing.

"Ohhh-kay." Bayman turns back around and Jann is staring at him, all the effects of his hangover now non-existent,

"Meeting new friends? C'mon, we have work to do."

"Woah, woah, what just happened? You're sober?" Jann snickers and holds his thumb up,

"It's Chaser, baby!"

Jann leads the way, newly invigorated and energized and rushes across the street with Bayman close behind.

"So what's the plan?"

"Well, unlike you, I didn't have any mayonnaise infested fries at the Airport, so first i need something to eat." Jann answers as he looks at the various different stores and shops lining the street, "We need to find one owned by a woman so it'll be easier to knock off."

"But don't _all_ Chinese people know kung-fu and choppy choppy shit?" Bayman asks and Jann spins around and chops Bayman in the clavicle, producing a high pitched scream as he falls to the ground, whimpering,

"Hmmm...guess so. It's cool, we'll just be sneaky about it." Jann Lee looks in all directions at once and takes off to the west. Bayman picks himself up and follows closely after.

Jann comes to a stop at a convenient store with an old man sitting outside of it wearing baggy zebra print looking pajamas and slippers. Jann steps over him and enters through the door-less entrance. Bayman tosses a nickel at the man and begins to follow, but the old man grabs his ankle with a powerful grip, a grip much too powerful for such an old man to possess.

"Do I look like a beggar to you?!" He asks in a gruff, insulted voice and Bayman nods his head,

"Yes, mutha f'cka, you do look like a beggar!" Bayman answers and the old man growls,

"You will feast upon the Fatal Iron Fist, boy!" The old man begins to stand, but Bayman pushes him back down as he wrestles his ankle away,

"Go choke on some Mabo Tofu, gramps, get the hell off my kicks." Bayman leaves the old man lying on the ground with his back on the ground, unable to right himself akin to a turtle from Holland.

Bayman waves casually at the female attendant of the store and quickly finds Jann in the packaged noodle section, far away from the entrance. He surveys the minimal selections with a pensive frown.

"We've gotta figure out how to get twenty of these packages of noodles from here, to outside, without Sister Street Fighter, Sue Shiomi over there seeing us." Bayman leans out the aisle to study the attendant again.

"Is Sue Shiomi old and on the cusp of blindness?" Bayman asks and Jann scoffs,

"It's the old masters that you have to worry about. The one's you underestimate."

"I just kicked Mr. Fatal Iron Fists' ass out there in the entrance. I was expecting roaming gangs and spontaneous battles just popping out of no where when I got here."

"Sorry my country let you down." Jann says facetiously as he catches a glimpse of a young blond boy walking on the outside aisle.

The boy is wearing baggy pants like gramps at the entrance, which would be an ideal transportation device for his many heisted noodle meals.

"Hey baggy pants, you a westerner?" Jann calls out and the boy looks over with a raised eyebrow,

"Lei Ho." The boy says with a wide, almost feminine smile and Jann scowls at him,

"Do you speak English?" He asks, enunciating the words and the boy chuckles,

"Oh yes, I do. I thought you spoke Chinese."

"Did I not greet you in English?" Jann asks angrily and the boy shrugs his shoulders.

"Listen, kid, we need to use your pants for transportation." Bayman chimes in and the boy looks from from one teen to the other,

"I don't think so." He answers a bit hesitantly and Jann exhales, but it's Bayman that speaks first,

"Oh c'mon, kid, you could fit a jumbo f'ckin jet in there!"

"Listen, kid--" Jann is cut off.

"Um, my name is Eliot, so how about a lil R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Mmmkay?"

"Do you like boys, Eliot?" Bayman asks, rising up over the much shorter boy, but Eliot holds strong.

"Love in all forms is beautiful, so you can just step up out of my way!" Eliot snaps his fingers in Bayman's face and Jann scowls, becoming quite impacient,

"Listen, faggy, it's either your pants or your body cavity, but I'm starving and I don't have time for this!"

"If your hungry, then we can all go to Master's house and he'll feed us, and then bathe us, and then--"

"Enough already!" Bayman reaches forwards and grabs Eliot's shirt, but he isn't able to hold on long, before he is tossed into the shelf, knocking it over in an explosion of packaged noodles. Jann steps backwards wide eyed from both the fluid and deadly movements of the boy.

"I'm my own voice! I'm above the influence, I'm above stealing, I'm above drugs, and I'm above you two!" Eliot turns towards Jann in his daunting battle stance, and Jann laughs cautiously,

"I'm not doubting you there, kid...I mean, Eliot. It's just that..." Jann quickly points behind Eliot with wide eyes, "Is that not the biggest Magical Unicorn you have ever seen?"

Eliot quickly spins around in hopeful surprise and Jann quickly grabs a groggy Bayman's ankle and turns to run out of the store. He makes it out of the aisle, but a large brick of a man wearing army fatigues stands at the entrance, another westerner by his light skin and tall stature. Jann Lee is frozen in fear for the first time in his life by this emotionless killer. The turban wearing brute cracks his knuckles, rotates his shoulders and scowls,

"Hello, Jann."

(Shift)

On some distant Halo Planet, (I don't know which one, I've never played the game), Spartan-458 steps out of her shower and reaches blindly for her towel, but doesn't find it. She blinks water out of her eyes as she opens them, and has to smother a startled scream of terror, finding five armed men in black suits crammed into her small bathroom. The lead man flips open his badge and then flips it back quickly,

"Spartan-458, you're under arrest for impersonating an official of the Airline Special Forces."

"WHHHAAAAAAT????"


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

Jann drops Bayman's ankle, causing the heavy shank of meat to thump onto the floor. He does his best to match this man's stolid scowl the best he can, but with his more slender eyes, he doesn't quite pull it off. Not to mention he's drenched in sweat and possibly other liquids. He clears his throat and attempts to use his most daunting voice,

"Who the hell are you?" Jann squeaks like a mouse and the man scoffs lowly,

"My name is Leon, but the more pertinent question is 'Why the hell am I'."

"Oooh-kay...Why the hell are you...?" Jann asks and then thinks about grammar, "...here?"

"A woman that misses you very much wants me to retrieve you and bring you home." He answers and Jann laughs derisively,

"I'm so sure. Headmistress Amalda is it? That orphanage aint a normal place." Jann answers and Bayman groans from the ground,

"And there's ghosts!"

"Ghosts or not, you _will_ be returning." Leon answers as Eliot runs into the main lobby of the store scowling and sweating, blood dripping from his right arm.

"What the hell happened to you?" Jann asks through astonishment and Eliot growls and points menacingly at Jann,

"You left me back there alone to fight that damn Unicorn! It was a boy Unicorn and he didn't want me riding him." Eliot fights back tears and Bayman laughs from the ground,

"This kid's not only gay, but he's into horses!"

"Master!!!" Eliot squeals at the top of his lungs and the old man at the entrance of the store rushes in.

"Eliot, my boy, what is it?" He asks and Eliot points at Jann and Bayman, sniveling and wiping snot from his nose,

"These boys are being mean to me, Master!"

"Stand back, Eliot, I shall deal with them!" The old man flexes his muscles, not exhibiting much difference in his already undefined, skinny, wrinkly body, but a vein does begin to protrude from his wrinkled forehead, "And I'm going to start with this big guy that stepped on me on his way in!"

"Stay out of this, old timer," Leon says, turning away from Jann, "I stepped on you because you are an insignificant being of this world, not needed in any way."

"Ouch!" Jann says loudly, "You gonna take that? I always thought you were a Master."

"I am a Master dammit! I am the Great Gen Fu! Step back, boys!" Gen Fu rushes at the much larger Leon and Jann doesn't hesitate to grab a hold of Bayman and bolt towards the entrance. Leon curses as he reaches out, but misses as Gen Fu launches his head into Leon's well muscled stomach.

Leon stumbles backwards and looks down angrily, ready to grab at Gen Fu, but the foolish old man lies on the ground unconscious, birds and stars floating around his head. Leon then turns to give chase to his two targets, but Eliot launches himself forwards, and wraps his skinny arms around Leon's legs, halting him in his tracks.

"Don't you know who I am?!" Leon leans down and picks Eliot up by the scruff of his neck.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!! I give good sponge baths! I swear! Just ask Master when he wakes up!" Eliot stammers cowardly and Leon drops Eliot back to the ground and walks over to a shelf. He picks up a candy bar and slams it down on the counter in front of the old attendant,

"How much is this?"

"Ehhhhh?" The woman blinks her old, jaundiced eyes twice and then falls forwards onto the counter sans life. Leon doesn't bother to check her pulse, he simply opens the candy bar and enjoys himself a little piece of milk chocolate heaven as he walks out.

Jann and Bayman don't stop running until they are sure that they have lost their assailant. They have taken a number of corners and turns, and aren't exactly sure where they are. As if they did, before, but still. Jann looks around the area at a much poorer district, filled with dirt roads and vendors are spread about selling numerous different items. The one thing that Jann is sure of is that a lot of this food smells delectable.

"Let's eat! How much money do you have?" Bayman asks obliviously and Jann Lee smacks him across the face,

"Yea, we were only just trying to rob a corner store not twenty minutes ago, because we're freakin laden with money!"

"Well you did drag me for the first five of that! I probably have brain damage now!" Bayman demands and Jann spits on the dirt ground,

"Should've left yo ass."

He looks to the closest stand and thinks of how he could sneak up and steal one of those roasting chickens, but a poor girl about his and Bayman's age catches his attention. Her black dress is covered with dirt as is her cute face and long, tangled black hair. She moves pseudo-stealthily, tip-toeing on her plain brown shoes towards a stand of fried kabobs. It appears like the man stares right at her as she swipes one and runs off un-hindered.

"Did you see that?" Jann asks astounded and Bayman nods his head, looking in a totally different direction,

"Yea, that monkey just did like ten flips and didn't drop not one of those pies."

"Focus, you chunk!" Jann snaps and Bayman brings his head back around and Jann points at the little girl, chewing down on her freshly swiped kabob, "Follow me."

Jann and Bayman rush towards the girl, dodging vendors and customers as they move through the crowd. Jann reaches her first and startles the girl, almost causing her to drop her pilfered treat.

"Hey, girl, how'd you do that?" Jann asks curiously and the girl looks up with two large brown eyes, almost cartoon large.

"Whatcha mean?" She asks, taking a bite of a fried pineapple and Jann's stomach rumbles.

"How did you sneak passed that guy? It looked like he saw you!" Jann clarifies and the girl shrugs her shoulders,

"Well you just gotta pretend that you're invisible. I sometimes also pretend that I can fly." Jann scowls as he looks over his shoulder at the vendor,

"Listen, I don't care about flying! What's the technique?"

"I just toldja! Pretend that no one can see you." She answers in an obvious manner and Jann sighs.

"I think you should try it." Bayman suggests and Jann looks at Bayman, then at the girl, and then at the vendor,

"I'm not gonna get my hands cut off if I get caught will I? Like in Arabia?" The girl shrugs her shoulders as she continues eating, drizzling grease down her chin,

"I dunno, never got caught." Jann stares at her intensely, and then turns around. If this girl can do it, then he should be able to without any problems.

He wipes his sweaty hands on his pants and then starts forwards slowly. He crouches low and moves on stealthy feet, not even hearing himself move. He slows his breathing and takes short, quiet steps. The vendor barters with a customer, drawing his complete attention. Jann allows himself to smile, looking at those sizzling kabobs, filled with meat and fruit. He'll probably even eat the skewer when he's done. Bayman can eat dirt for all he cares, because he's going to be feasting on--

"Hey, street urchin, hit the rocks!" The vendor yells and Jann falls over, not even close to his goal. His eyes go wide, being stared at disdainfully by both the vendor and customer.

"How the hell did you see me?"

"You think you're the first person to try and rip me off?" The man asks and pulls his shirt up, revealing a long piece of metal and Jann clears his throat and smiles,

"My mistake." He turns around and runs fast back to where Bayman and the girl wait.

Bayman chews on a chunk of meat and the girl tosses the metal skewer on the ground.

"Woah, woah, wait! You gave him some?" Jann asks furiously and Bayman swallows and shrugs,

"I figured you'd have your own so..."

"DAMMIT! Listen, you're technique didn't work! I was still a good foot away!" Jann plunks down, steam rising off the top of his head.

"Sorry. You just probably didn't believe." She answers and Jann thinks to pick up the skewer and impale her through the neck, but thinks better of it.

"How big is this market? Are there other places we could try?" Jann asks and the girl nods her head,

"Yea, it stretches for about three miles. We can score big I bet! Oh, my name is Zhi! What about you guys?"

"Oh, I'm Bayman and this is Jann." Bayman smiles and thrusts out his hand, but Zhi ignores him and reaches towards Jann longingly,

"Nice to meet you, Jann." Jann looks at Zhi's dirty hand and then pushes it away and stands up,

"Show me where s'more vendors are. And I want half blind old people. I'm hungry as a hostage up in here."

"Okay! Do you wanna hold hands?" Zhi asks hopefully and Jann glares at her,

"No! Just lead."

"You can hold my hand if you want!" Bayman suggests and Zhi shakes her head,

"No, that's okay."

The boys follow Zhi as she rushes through the crowd, diving and rolling, crawling and spinning as she goes. Jann doesn't begin to wonder why she's so dirty now.

"So are you on your own?" Bayman asks and Zhi springs up from an army crawl as she makes it underneath a man's legs,

"Yep! I'm an orphan. My parents abandoned me like, six years ago." She answers, although not too sadly.

"Wow, me and Jann are orphans too!" Bayman answers with a smirk, and Jann smacks him in the gut,

"Don't be puttin my business out in the street."

"How old are you, Jann?" Zhi asks, leaning towards Jann, leaving Bayman by himself again and Jann surveys the area,

"I'm thirteen."

"Woah, me too!" Zhi says excitedly, grabbing a hold of Jann's arm and he pulls away,

"Don't lie." He says reproachfully and Zhi frowns,

"Okay...okay...I'm twelve, but I'll be thirteen soon!" She admits and Bayman smiles,

"So really, me and you are closer in age, than you and--"

"So Jann, do you have a girlfriend?" Zhi overpowers Bayman and Jann groans,

"Listen, I'll talk to you while I eat, but not until, cool?" He asks impatiently and Zhi nods her head and quickly rushes off again, doing a quick cartwheel. She misses her landing and accidentally kicks a man in the back of the head.

"What the hell?" The man spins around with fire in his eyes, but at seeing Zhi, the fire dissipates.

"I'm sorry!" Zhi cries out and the man smiles and pats her on the head,

"That's okay, just be more careful." He turns around and walks off and Jann and Bayman both stare at each other.

"She does have that adorable face." Bayman suggests and Jann shakes his head,

"Nah, son, I don't care how adorable a chick is. She kicks me in the back of the head, I'll be liftin her ten feet."

"Hey guys! There's a stand!" Zhi jumps up and down pointing and Jann growls and rushes towards her, tackling her to the ground less than gently.

"Are you trying to draw attention to us!" Jann yells and Zhi looks up at him blushing. Jann exhales and stands up off of her and hauls her up by the arm, "Listen, sorry."

"I don't mind..." Zhi answers with a smile and Bayman looks on angrily. Jann looks to the stand she was pointing at and licks his lips at seeing the variety of Chinese sweet buns. His deft nose can pick out pork and custard fillings among them.

"Okay, let's try this again." Jann rubs his hands together and stares at the back of the fleshly abundant man. He could easily just kick the man in the back of the head with a flying kick, but he doubts the Chinese Super Cops will let him off too easily. He shakes off his jitters and rushes forwards on silent feet, moving with the wind. The smells beckon him forth. He reaches forwards desperately, but the man turns.

"Why..." Jann says as he stops, his hand resting just above one of the buns. If only he had a mouth on his hand...what a world that would be.

"You want one of these buns for free, kid?" The man asks in a solemn voice and Jann pulls his empty hand away and looks down, trying his best to look pitiful and abashed.

"Yessir." He hates himself for acting so diffident and timid, but his stomach can't take much more punishment.

"Okay." The man answers and Jann lifts his head up, his eyes lit up like stars.

The man smiles widely and picks up the largest bun and holds it out to Jann, and as Jann steps forwards to accept it, the man throws it to the ground. Jann's eyes have no choice but to follow the demise of the sweet treat as it collides with the ground. His eyes begin to fill with tears as the man stomps onto the bun, exploding filling across the dirt, laughing maniacally.

"Haha! Foolish street rat! You thought I was actually going to give you something for free?! You even reached out! And I totally threw it on the ground!" He holds his rumbling middle as he continues to laugh and Jann looks up, blinded with tears, not only from hunger, but also from fury.

"I swear I'm going to--"

"Oh hush it up! Go rejoin Jasmine and Abu over there and be out of my sight!" The man waves Jann away and he turns around and drags his feet back to Bayman and Zhi.

"Gee, Jann, I'm sorry it didn't work." Zhi consoles and Jann sits down on the ground, holding back tears. It's not that she's ashamed to cry in front of a girl, its that his stomach is currently absorbing all the liquids of his body for sustenance.

"There you are, Leifang!" A boy's voice calls from the crowd towards their direction and Jann and the others turn to face him.

Four boys rush towards the three of them, mostly the same age as Jann and Bayman and all uniformed in a black and white karate Gi.

"Daddy's little girl trying to run off on her own again?" The oldest boy asks and Zhi looks at Jann and Bayman,

"Do you know these guys?" Jann and Bayman look from the group of boys and then back to Zhi,

"You mean you _don't_ know them?"

"Shit, of course Leifang knows us! She's in our Tai'Chi Quan School!" The boy demands and Zhi scratches her head through confusion,

"Who's this Leifang you speak of? My name's Zhi and this is Jann and Bay--"

"Oh, so it's Zhi now, huh? Surprised you didn't pick a Korean name this time!" The boy starts forwards, but Bayman steps forwards, puffing his chest out,

"Listen, Zhi doesn't know you, so return to whence you've come!" Bayman demands and the boys all laugh at him. One of the younger one's takes out a bag of and begins tossing back little chocolate covered peanuts and Jann looks up,

"Hey...you mind if I snag one of those?" Jann asks as politely as he can muster and the boy laughs,

"You see this, guys, this gay-bait wants to taste my nuts!" All the boys burst out in laughter and Jann stands up slowly and cracks his knuckles. He won't be ridiculed twice in one day.

"Any last words?" Jann asks in a low voice, but the boy's ignore him and continue laughing, "Allow me to introduce you to Jeet Kune Do." Jann bursts forwards and the first boy only has time to gasp before he has a fist in the center of his chest. He falls backwards and Jann spins with a high roundhouse to another one, and sends the boy tumbling across the ground. The other two quickly situate themselves into their stances, but Jann is much too fast, and much too angry to give them time. The first falls with crushed nuts and the one holding the _actual _nuts gets lifted into the air by a high leaping kick, and then Jann finishes him off with another roundhouse.

He lands in a seated position and catches the peanuts in his left hand with a content smile on his face. He dives into the bag, not caring about all the wide eyes staring at him, but another voice draws him away.

"Mistress Leifang?" Once again, the three turn to see the new arrival. Not a group of boys this time, but a tall, muscular man wearing an identical Gi to the boys. Bayman and Jann both look at Zhi and she quickly looks away from their curious eyes and yells,

"Who the hell is this Leifang?" Zhi yells angrily, stomping her feet on the ground, "I don't know why people keep mistaking me with her! When I find her I'm going to--"

"Stop lying." Jann says gravely and Zhi stops stomping and tears begin to well in her eyes, "You're not really a street urchin like us are you?"

"Wait, woah, we're street urchins?" Bayman asks confused, but everyone ignores him as the man walks forwards.

"I'm sorry, Jann! I didn't mean to lie! I just...I just...all these servants and maids are always bugging me about how I want my hair and daddy's always making me train and, well being rich is just--"

"Stop the f'ckin train a second!" Jann jumps up, dropping the nuts on the ground and turns on Leifang, "Not only are you not poor, but you're rich?! Biatch, this aint no game! My stomach has turned on my internal organs! I think I've lost half my liver and about ten feet of small intestines! Holy shit!!" Jann turns on the muscular man with an armor piercing scowl, "Get this chick out of my sight before I do something unforgivable!"

"A little too late for that..." Bayman whispers in the background, but no one hears him. Leifang wipes her tears on her dirt encrusted sleeve and frowns,

"Can I at least offer you all some food?"

"Oh, you rich biatch, you better do better than that! We're trying to get to Japan. You got a personal jet or a yacht or some shit?" Jann asks and Leifang shakes her head sadly,

"No, but I can give you guys 10 or 15 easy for plane fare and lodging."

Bayman shakes his head and steps closer,

"10 bucks? Listen, Zhi...I mean Leifang, you gotta at least give us like four hundred or somthin." Everyone stares at Bayman again, and Jann smacks himself in the face.

"I meant 10,000, but okay. If that's all you want. Master Zu, could you pay them?" Leifang looks to her teacher and the man nods and steps forwards, proffering a small bundle of currency. Jann doesn't hesitate to snatch it away.

"Thanks, I guess. C'mon, Bayman." Jann Lee turns around and grabs Bayman by the arm and walks away quickly, forcing himself not to look back. He doesn't want to be tempted to slap the hell out of Leifang, and not only that, but he's not entirely sure if he could stop himself from eating those soiled peanuts.

"Mistress Leifang, you truly must stop doing this. All of our School's hopes are resting on your shoulders." Master Zu says respectfully and Leifang nods her head sorrowfully,

"I'm sorry, Master, but I found a keeper this time! Did you see how Jann moves out there. I'm gonna grow up and totally beat him one day!"

"I'm sure you will, Mistress Leifang." Zu says as he takes her hand and begins to turn, but Leifang pulls away,

"Nuh-uh, you ruined my fun yet again! I want piggy back!" Zu turns back around hesitantly,

"But you've been rolling in the dirt all day." He answers and her petulant scowl changes his mind and he sighs, "Yes, Mistress."

Jann and Bayman step up to the gate inside the Beijing airport with legit tickets this time, but a security official rushes forwards before the attendant can check their passes. Bayman clinches his jaw, hoping that word didn't spread that fast.

"Excuse me, Sir?" The security official pats Jann on the shoulder, looking at a picture in his hand and comparing the two.

"Yes?" Jann asks, wiping his mouth free from the 100 dollars worth of greasy hamburgers that he feasted on moments earlier. Them kids from White Castle just don't know.

"Is your name Yi Chang? We've been trying to track a psychopath that terrorized a flight from Basel a few hours ago. You match the picture." The official holds out a hand drawn sketch of Jann, his jagged teeth are curled into a maliciously demonic grin and his hair is spiked like fire with two horns protruding from his forehead.

"Um, no, my name is Jann Lee. Check my ticket." Jann points and the official looks at the ticket and rubs his chin wonderingly,

"And if thats not enough..." Jann unsnaps his pants and brings them down slightly, showing the waistband of his drawz which displays his name spelled out.

"Oh, well that's proof of ID all right. We shall continue searching. Have a good flight." The man backs away and Jann leads the way into the tunnel, zipping up his pants.

"That's wierd..." He says and Bayman looks down at his own band,

"Mine say 'The Baymanator'."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

A feeling of fulfillment fills Jann Lee as he steps out of the Tokyo Airport into the warm, welcoming sunlight of the sun's favorite place to shine. He basks in the euphoria for about five seconds before he notices the rushing onslaught of a crowd herding towards him. He and Bayman attempt to doge and evade, but they are picked up in the business rush and dragged away by the flood of silky black hair and kimonos...and cellphones.

"Woah, hold up, I need to--" Jann begins speaking, but is elbowed in the face by an inadvertent strike. He spins around to attempt to find the culprit, but someone else steps on his foot, causing him to stumble, "I'm lookin for--" He can't catch his balance and is only able to gasp before his feet leave the ground completely.

"Jann! Jann!!" Bayman screams out horrified as he is pulled along with the strong current, dizzy and confused. He figures he could take advantage of the situation by stealing a free grope...or two...but it seems like all these people are men! "Hey, Tokogawa-san! Hiromoto-sama? Takashi-dono?" On the third name, a man turns around at hearing his name. Bayman smirks, "Hey, give me a hand, yea?" Bayman reaches out for his newfound friend, but as the man reaches out uncertainly, he is ripped away from the stampede. Bayman never sees him again.

"NOO!!! Takashi-dono!!" Bayman cries out as he is pulled under and his eyes widen as a thousand different pair of shoes and sandals stomp on his ridiculously large head. He begins flailing angrily, punching and slapping at different legs, but he has no affect on the eternal rush. He simply gives up and covers his head and finds his happy place. Tod and Copper run in a nice meadow, playing hand in hand although they come from two entirely different worlds. Is it possible for a Fox and a Hound Dog to become friends, is there such a world?!

Bayman is pulled out of his happy place as the attack stops and he looks up through a daze and can see the sun again. The rush is over! He pulls himself up and coughs up blood from his internal injuries and then fixes his clothes and looks around. The sidewalk is desolate compared to what it once was. He blinks tears out of his eyes and laughs aloud through triumph,

"I'm alive!!" He begins dancing with his horrible rhythm, but he doesn't care because no one is around to see him.

He does a quick spin, but a loud buzz is heard from behind him and he looks and sees another train coming to a halt. His eyes widen as the sluice gates open once more and thousands of Japanese businessmen appear out of nowhere to reach their new destination. Bayman swallows hard, but doesn't even think to fight it. He fantasizes of a newly transformed Ariel and Alice getting it on in some underwater palace and simply jumps to the ground as he is repeatedly trampled.

Its another hour before Jann and Bayman finally meet up in an entirely different prefecture, more than twenty miles away from the airport. They are both and bruised broken, stumbling across the sidewalk of the small neighborhood.

"There you are..." Jann musters out an indifferent hoarse whisper and Bayman nods and waves, sitting down on the curb,

"I met some nice people..." Bayman reaches into the back of his mouth and pulls out a loose tooth and cringes.

"Fame Douglas's place of business should be around here someplace..." Jann begins, craning his neck to look everywhere at once, "I think. Some sort of Geisha Tea House?"

"I could use an Opium Den right about now..." Bayman sighs and falls backwards and Jann shakes his head,

"You're about a country too late for that..." Jann trails off at hearing three soft voices sounding out from behind them, tucked in a thick of bushes. He quickly spins around and sneaks forwards surreptitiously.

"Buuuut nii-Sama...why do I have to film?" A younger girl cries out as Jann pushes his hands through the bushes, and places his head through to see the scandalous event. A boy about the same age as Jann and Bayman stands in the clearing with two much younger girls, one with the same reddish brown color of hair as himself, and the other with a lavender coloring. Her devilish red eyes are pushed to the eyepiece of a camcorder and the teen and the other girl are sitting on the ground wearing some sort of Native American tribal leathers.

Bayman peaks through beside him and giggles,

"Is this the Japanese telling of Pocahontas and Colin Farrel?" Bayman asks and Jann looks over with a scowl,

"Don't bring that garbage movie up please...wait...what are you talking about?" Bayman 'shushes' him as the boy walks over to the full dressed purple haired girl with a disappointed scowl,

"Listen, Ayane-Chan, you can't be in the movie because we're not _100_ related. My audience won't see the same connection between you and I that they would see with me and Kasumi-Chan! You see how she glows over there?" The boy turns and points to the other girl who pouts timidly, sitting on the ground with feathers in her long hair, "Now let's take it from the beginning. Kasumi, start touching yourself and I'll burst onto the scene to scold you."

"But...Hayate-nii-sama...I don't...feel comfortable..." Kasumi begins, tears forming in her large, innocent eyes and Hayate scowls once again and works his way over, his hand clinched into a fist.

"You do realize what's going to happen if you don't do this?" He asks furiously, adjusting his loin cloth and Kasumi looks away,

"No..."

"Let me give you a demonstrati--" Hayate catches a glimpse of the two boys out of the corner of his eye and spins around.

"Ack!" Bayman yells as he loses his balance and comes tumbling out of the bush, shaking it violently, and dislodging Jann beside him. They both tumble out and smash their heads into the hard ground, but quickly stand up and are on the ready. Hayate walks to the two of them with fire in his slanted eyes and places his hands on his well muscled hips threateningly,

"So the Mugen-Tenshin didn't deal with all the hentai peeping toms of Japan after all!"

"Uh...uh...uh...uh..." Bayman stumbles for something to say, but Jann steps forwards, with a better defense than Bayman's, but thats not saying much,

"You see, we're fellow filmmakers so we were simply observing your techniques to offer assistance later on!" Jann answers and Hayate tosses his head back laughing sardonically,

"Balderdash!" He yells and Jann and Bayman both look at each other through confusion at the boy's choice of words, "Listen, what I'm doing here isn't illegal or inappropriate in anyway! I mean, Kasumi may be my sister in real life...but on camera she's Aiki, a forest nymph and I'm Kinji, a War Chief, so what happens between Aiki and Kinji don't reflect upon Hayate and Kasumi, you see, you see?"

Bayman and Jann Lee take a second to digest his ridiculous explanation, but Bayman has only one question,

"What's up with the garbage choice of outfits? All you could dig out of the garbage can?" Bayman bursts into laughter, but is quickly cut off as Hayate slashes quickly with his right hand, catching him underneath the jaw. Bayman squeals loudly as his chubby body lifts off the ground and carries him back into the bush. Jann has no time to react, before Hayate spins to face him with a face of stark vengeance.

"You listen to me, China-boy! You tell anyone about this and I promise you I'll break an eighty minute, re-writable CDR in half and slash your throat with the jagged edge!" Jann begins backing up in terror, but Hayate isn't through, "And after that, I'm going to tie you to a chair and strap a battery to your ears with some nice wires and electrodes. I'm going to run the current through your body until your cooked. I'm then going to toss a blanket over your pitiful corpse and enjoy myself an instant sushi meal right in the same room!"

Sweat drenches Jann from head to toe as Hayate continues pushing him backwards with these twisted, torturous promises, "But I won't be done now will I? What about the police? I'll have to take your body and slash you to bits, toss you in my little sister's easy bake oven and have a nice feast. After that, I'll be free of any apprehension of being caught. I'll simply treat my sisters to a nice delicious white cake and eat until my stomach is satisfied, and then I'll satisfy them, and you won't be able to do a damn thing about it, will you?"

Hayate grabs Jann by the shirt and his psychotic eyes glare deep into his soul, pressed right up against his own,

"And when people ask me, 'Hayate, why? Why did you do it?' I'll simply laugh and respond, 'Because Jann Lee talks too much!' And that'll be the end of it! So what do you have to say?!" Hayate throws Jann backwards stumbling, but Jann keeps his balance and against every ounce of trepidation he's currently feeling, he forces a smile,

"I—uh—I see a Golden Horse award in your future! The people will say Kinji is the best filmmaker in all of Japan!"

"Hayate." Hayate corrects and Jann nods his head quickly,

"Right, right, Hayate. That's my bad," He chuckles nervously and rouses Bayman by shaking him with his foot, "And we'll be going now."

"Walk away." Hayate commands and Jann and Bayman turn and bolt away, not even thinking to look back.

Hayate sighs and turns back towards his sisters and shakes his head,

"What have I become?" He sits down, covering his face disparagingly and Ayane begins to walk towards him with a concerned frown on her face,

"What do you mean, nii-sama?" Hayate barks out laughter and points at Kasumi angrily,

"A forest nymph? How hackneyed have I become? I need to make her some sort of Shinto Priestess! Kinji isn't one to waste his time with some lowly nymph. Now ready that camera, you slave!"

Jann and Bayman drag themselves along, looking for some sort of corner store to ask for directions for this Fame Douglas's Tea House. Their search isn't unfolding successfully because every pedestrian or biker they come across, Jann shies away from and runs the opposite direction. And no one talks to Bayman anyways.

"What about that place?" Bayman points across the street to a lone, scant and poor looking store with a hand painted sign above it that says 'HAYABUSA CURIO'.

"That sounds like some retired Samurai's ultimate plan to capture unsuspecting men and women."

"That kid's got you paranoid." Bayman teases and begins across the street and Jann looks one direction, then the other, and then back before he rushes after him,

"You didn't hear what he said to me!!"

Bayman ignores Jann's cries and pushes open the beaded curtain entrance and as a bell jingles overhead, a man from within yells out,

"Welcome!" Bayman smiles at the warm welcome as he looks around at the vast, well dusted shelves of the store filled with numerous different priceless trinkets and antiques. Jann enters as quietly as he can, holding the bell tight so it doesn't ring when he enters.

"Uh, hello?" Bayman calls out from the entrance, seeking the source of the voice from within the store that is much larger than it appeared from the outside. Jann cautiously ducks behind a tall Samurai statue and stays put, peeking out ever so often to make sure no crafty Japanese get the drop on him. Bayman pulls out a pilfered Japanese/English dictionary from his pocket and thumbs through it, "Uhhh...Konecho-wia?"

Out from the far corner of the store comes a young man, four or five years older than the boys, sweeping his way along with an old straw broom. He wears a white apron over tight fitting black clothes, his long brown hair is tied in a ponytail, and his emerald green eyes could captivate the blind.

"Wow." Bayman says, clearing his throat quickly and raises his hand, "Uh, yo!"

"How can I help you?" The young man asks, but his soft voice isn't the one that greeted them earlier.

"Uhhh, we're seeking directions to Fame Douglas's Tea House."

"Sorry, never heard of it." The young man answers, resting the broom on his arm as he meticulously dusts a row of figurines. Bayman frowns and then looks over his shoulder at the shaking Jann,

"Positive?" He responds and the man tosses his feather duster back into his apron and shakes his head,

"I'm sorry, but I've never heard of such a place. I might ask my father..." He begins to turn around, but Jann bounds forwards, refusing to live in fear any longer.

"Don't be tryin to get reinforcements!" He demands angrily and the young man turns back around startled, "You answer us right now or I'm going to do something unfortunate to you!"

"Where did you come from?" He asks perplexed and Jann grabs his broom away and throws it across the room,  
"You Japaneseez know all about sneak attacks, you should've seen that coming!"

"Jann, chill out, he said he didn't know where it was!" Bayman attempts to grab Jann's arm, but Jann counters him and tosses Bayman into the shelf that the teen was just busying himself with. The young man's eyes widen as the antiques crash to the ground and fragments explode all across the wooden floor.

"You want your broom back, sushi boy?" Jann asks with a malicious scowl and the teen looks at the mess, almost with a tear in his sparkling eyes.

"My father's going to kill me...but I suppose you don't care," He sighs sorrowfully, "You're lucky my shift doesn't end until four because I'd punish you, but--"

"So you can't do shit, aint that right, naki-naki?" Jann belittles, reaching into teen's apron and grabbing his duster. He tosses it on the ground among the fragments of broken dreams and laughs, "I had such high hopes for this place, but it's been nothing but annoyances since I've arrived. You leave me no choice but to take it out on you." Jann pushes the taller teen backwards, and receives no retaliation.

"No wise Japanese philosophy? Ehh? Just going to stand there and take it like the baaaka you are?" Jann continues pushing him backwards to the far wall and Bayman picks himself up from the ground, pulling shards out of his hands.

"Jann, cool it!" Bayman scolds and starts forwards, but stops as Jann slams the young man into the wall and grabs a wooden practice sword from a shelf.

"Retribution will be swift!" Jann demands and points the tip at the teen's throat, but Bayman notices the antique face clock on the wall. His eyes widen as the hour clicks over.

A small bell chimes above Jann and his target and they both look up and Jann's throat immediately goes dry.

"My name is Ryu...and...wow...my shift is now over." The young man snatches the wooden sword away from Jann's shaking hands and places it gently back on the shelf. He then places his first two fingers together and holds them in front of his face, "Think well, lest carelessness be your downfall...oh, too late." Ryu flashes forwards and grabs Jann forcefully by the neck, producing a shrieking squeal which echoes throughout Tokyo.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

Jann and Bayman both lie on white sheeted cots in a small privately owned medical office, recovering from the Super-Ninja's onslaught. Luckily, it was more of their pride that was broken, than their bodies, but then again, Bayman didn't have much to begin with.

"That Ryu Hayabusa is such a nice guy," Bayman says dreamily, lifting his head off his pillow, taking a sip from his juice cup, "He beats up C-class losers like ourselves, and then takes time out of his busy schedule to bring us to the hospital."

Jann rolls over and scowls over at Bayman, lying right beside him in the cramped room,

"If he was going to bring us to heal, he could've just let us off the hook." He groans and the young nurse's aid walks into the room with a giggle,

"That's just not Ryu operates. He's so mature! He punishes evil-doers, but then brings them to convalesce. It's like giving the, 'I'm not mad at you, just don't f'ck with me again' speech."

"Good thing he knows you, Kureha, or we might've had pay." Bayman perks up, smiling at alluring, black haired Kureha wearing a multi-colored kimono. She nods her head as she checks his bandages,

"And since you guys apologized, I guess I could give you a little bit of a treat." Kureha says with a certain coquettish sparkle in her eye and Bayman leans forwards captivated,

"A treat? Is that figurative or physical because I need to know!"

Kureha dives her small, delicate hands to her obi-sash around her waist and Bayman begins rubbing his hands together, but she simply retrieves a small ticket from tucked behind it. He groans and leans back on his pillow disappointed, but she still proffers it to him,

"It's good for two I think. And Green Tea is good for healing...not to mention...the girls allow their arms up to the elbow to be seen!" Kureha blushes at the scandalous thought and Bayman scoffs.

"The elbow? Yea...that's way sexy." Un-enthused, he snatches the ticket away and without even looking at it, flicks it to the floor. Kureha pouts as she crosses her arms,

"My friend Kokoro even works there." Kureha bends down and picks it up, but this time holds it out to Jann, "You seem to be the leader of your guys' duo anyways." Jann scowls angrily, still broken inside, but he takes the ticket anyways. It might sell for something.

He begins to shove it into his pocket, but he sees a recognizable insignia on the corner of the ticket. The same he saw on the Internet...all that long time ago. His eyes widen to their fullest capacity as he reads the name of the company aloud,

"Fame Douglas's Green Geisha Tea House!" He leaps up all at once, standing on his two feet and completely rejuvenated. He holds both hands up and laughs, holding the ticket in his fist, "Kureha, if you weren't Japanese, I'd kiss you!" He holds her tightly in his arms, and then bounces backwards and does a quick C-Walk.

"What the hell, dude? You got an elbow fetish?" Bayman's idiotic confusion is evident on his blank face, but Jann doesn't stop celebrating. He grabs the defibrillator paddles connected to the EKG machine and rubs them together, but Kureha grabs his arm before he tries to explode his heart,

"That's just not smart." Jann looks over his shoulder at Kureha, and then back at the looming electric paddles and wisely puts them down.

"Kureha, I have nothing to give you...but this one piece of advice." Jann runs his hands through his silky hair and grabs Kureha's hand gently, "If one day you're working at some Sacred Shrine and a man with blue fire as a face approaches you...don't try impede him. Just run like hell. He's up to no good." Jann then spins around without another word and rushes out of the office.

"He's such a nice guy. What great advice he gave me!" Kureha smiles, holding her fluttering heart and Bayman shrugs as he stands up off his cot,

"Like that'll ever happen."

Bayman finds Jann outside in the haze of early dusk and watches as he barters with a bicyclist, attempting to trade some of the money Leifang gave him for the rickety, rusted bike.

"C'mon, bro, you can walk back to Osaka, but I need this bike!" Jann demands and Bayman lifts an eyebrow as he looks over his shoulder at the line of taxis waiting for customers.

"Uh, Jann? Are you feeling alright?" Bayman asks and Jann comes running at him, pure elation on his once hopeless face,

"This is it, Bayman! The end of my search! I'm less than an hour away from Fame Douglas himself! Look at the address!" Jann pushes the ticket into Bayman's hand and laughs, "Hell, keep it, I've already memorized it!" Bayman takes a long breathe and then pats Jann on the shoulder sorrowfully,

"Then this is where we part." He states and Jann's laughter subsides slightly,

"What do you mean? You're not coming with?"

"I'm not trying to enter the fighting tournament. I don't see myself doing that silly stuff. We were going to part in Japan anyways, lets rip off the band-aid right here and now." Bayman suggests, wiping his nose and Jann nods his head with a comforting smile,

"Have fun with your Japanese girls then, Bayman. I'm rooting for you...and sorry for getting us beat up by a ninja in an apron."

"I'm sorry for getting us stuck on a plane to China...terrorized by a madman..."

"Yea, I still don't remember much of that." Jann answers, rubbing his forehead and Bayman ponders for a second,

"Did Vegeta remember all the terrible deeds he committed when he was Majin?

"Who?" Jann asks and Bayman laughs,

"It's not important. Good luck against the greatest fighters in the world." Bayman thrusts his hand out and Jann takes it in his bandaged and shakes.

The two boys board separate red taxis and drive off in different directions. Bayman leans back on the comfortable seat of his and speaks to the driver,

"Hey, Hoshino-san?" No response, "Kobayashi-sama?" Still nothing, "Shimada-kun?" The young driver turns around with a smile and Bayman smirks, "Take me to some girls. Yea? Hai?" The driver nods his head and turns back around and Bayman laughs and leans back in his seat.

The taxi ride lasts for about an hour, diving deep into the center of Tokyo's nightlife. The sparkling lights of the towering city remind Bayman of what Christmas would have been like if there had been any such a thing at the dreadful orphanage. He looks out the dark window at all the beautiful women crowding the sidewalks, wearing such awesome mini-skirts.

"Hey, Shimada-san, stop here!" Bayman orders and the taxi driver pulls over to the curb and Bayman laughs aloud.

He hands the driver a bundle of cash which lights the man's eyes up like supernovas and Bayman tosses open the door and steps out into the cool air as the taxi speeds away with Shimada laughing triumphantly. Bayman surveys the area in elation and decides that he could drop dead at this moment and be content with his meaningless life, but if he did that, of course, he wouldn't get any silky booty. Bayman ogles the scenery before he catches a group of creatively dressed girls and rushes towards them.

"Ohayo Gozaimasu!!" Bayman greets them with one of his memorized phrases and they all burst into giggles and continue walking, whispering and looking over their shoulders at him as they walk. Bayman smirks and winks at them, but as he turns to follow, he accidentally bumps into another girl, this one even hotter! His heart races as he dives into his pocket, groping for his little assistant and finally grabs a hold. He pulls the dictionary from his pocket and immediately begins thumbing through.

"Umm...Nengappi hizuke?" He asks, leaning forwards hopefully and she looks at him strangely and then answers hesitantly,

"Uh, June fifteen." She answers in impressive Engrish, and then continues walking and Bayman scratches his head perplexed. He then looks back down at the dictionary and scowls,

"No, no, not that type of date! I meant--" He trips over his own shoes and collides with a young couple holding hands and they become entangled, attempting to catch their balance, but all three slam to the hard concrete.

"Just where do you think you're touching?" The man asks furiously and Bayman swallows as he looks down at his hand rested firmly where it doesn't belong on the man. He attempts to pull his hand away, but the man grabs him by the throat, much stronger than he appears and pulls a katana out of nowhere. Bayman struggles uselessly to escape, but it's no use. The man begins to swing, but his wife steps forwards with her hands outstretched.

"Don't kill him, sweetie, look at him." She pleads and Bayman looks over thankfully.

"But, Ayame, he touched my..." The woman shakes her head adamantly and the man groans and sets Bayman back down. He smiles gratefully at the beautiful woman's sympathy, and—wait, or is that pity?

"Look at him, Shiden, he's as helpless as a retarded dog with one leg and half a tail." Ayame points out and the man laughs and nods his head,

"Nature will take it's course, who am I to intercede?" Bayman looks at one and then the other through the personal affront, but Shiden simply takes a hold of Ayame's hand and they continue walking, "Besides, this blade is meant to punish that useless son of ours anyways." Bayman stands up and shakes his fist at their retreating backs,

"Why not mention my ringworm and dysentery, you bastards!" Bayman screams and a pretty girl that was about to tap him on the shoulder steps backwards and runs away in horror.

Bayman turns around scowling and begins walking down the street, but a voice off to his side catches his attention,

"Hey, cutie." Bayman spins at once and looks at a shrouded figure down an alley and rubs his chin. He should know better than this, he watches the news...

"Yes?" Bayman runs down the alley to get a better look and smirks at seeing long silky black hair and a cute purple kimono, but that heavy white makeup is a bit much. Almost like it was applied thickly to conceal something...

"Do you wanna have a fun time?" The person asks and Bayman thinks the voice is a bit deeper than it should be, but maybe this Japanese woman is a heavy smoker. And not to mention those broad shoulders. Something just isn't right...well maybe she's like that chick from the Venture Brothers.

"I'm trying to, but the girls here just don't respond to me like they should. In Europe, I had a different girl every day." Bayman lies, attempting to impress her, but he's not so sure it worked. The 'lady of the evening' reaches out and places her hand on Bayman's shoulder gently. Wait...is that hair?

"I might be able to help you alleviate some of that frustration." Bayman looks up and studies 'her' appearance once more before making his decision.

"Woah, wait, what's that swelling bump on your throat there?" Bayman asks suspiciously and 'she' clears 'her' throat quickly and giggles deeply,

"I use it so much...when I work...if you know what I mean." Bayman's eyes light up,

"I sure do!" He dives into his pocket, fumbling around for his remaining money, "I'm sold. So do I pay you now or--" Bayman is cut off in mid sentence as a hard object smacks him in the back of the head and he falls forwards on his face.

He recovers and looks down and laughs gleefully,

"Oh, sweet! Vonage!" He stands up, cradling his free present as tires squeal away and he rushes back towards the opening of the alley, leaving his friend standing by her/himself. The van leaves his view and Bayman scowls, angry that they got away before they could tell him what exactly this product is. He starts to turn back around, but a black limo pulls up in front of him.

Bayman curiously leans forwards towards the shady looking limo and the tinted window rolls down and reveals an average looking white girl with blond hair, really nothing special about her.

"Hey, sweetie." She says and Bayman looks down at his box,

"Do you know how to work this thing?" The woman slaps the box out of Bayman's hands and points her finger in his face,

"You pay attention, okay? You look desperate and easy, so listen. I've got the _best _Harajuku Hookers in all of Japan. They are super cute and I even named them myself."

"You do realize, even minorities are born with names and you can't just steal them and re-name them, right?" Bayman asks and the woman points her finger back in his face,

"I'm a fan of mutton okay? So if I want to change their names so they spell out LAMB, I'll do it! Now, how much money do you have?" She demands and clueless Bayman pulls out his remaining money and counts it front of her,

"Uhhh, about two hundred dollars?"

"Woah! What a coincidence, that's how much I charge." She snatches the money away and Bayman jumps up and down and does a Tiger Woods celebration,

"Yes!"

"Now...which hotel are you in?" The woman finally asks and Bayman quickly looks around and points to a tall building,

"That one."

"Try again, that's Karaoke." She answers and Bayman spins around and points across the street,

"That one! Room 315!" He waits for the correction, but doesn't receive it and chuckles smugly.

"Good, wait thirty minutes and you'll have the best three minutes of your life." The window rolls up and Bayman steps away as the limo speeds away.

Bayman clicks his heals together, spins around and waves to his alley friend,

"Hey, change of plans, I'm gonna hook up with someone else. Sorry, cutie." 'She' shrugs her shoulders and scratches down low, slouching against the wall,

"No problem, dawg, I'll hitchu lata."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

An energetic Bayman slashes through traffic as he crosses the street, fearlessly pulling some Nong Pradu stunts, leaping over cars, and sliding underneath trucks and the stunts replay with different angles and speeds. He throws open the doors of the hotel and holds his palm up to the receptionist as she welcomes him. He spins around two Japanese super models, ignoring their waves, skips the elevator and leaps into the emergency stairwell.

He takes two stairs at once as he ascends, his incredible drive pushing him like an amazing and invisible force. He pushes the door open as he reaches the second floor and leaps out into the carpeted hallway at the ready. He studies the numbers on the walls and slaps his head and rushes back into the stairwell and climbs up another floor before exiting again. He easily finds room number 315 and without any sort of announcement, he tosses open the door.

"Yamaguchi-san!!!" Bayman yells out and the young man looks up from his laptop, sitting on his futon located on the floor.

"Yes?"

"You serious? First try? Awesome!" Bayman claps his hands together, but cuts his celebration off early, knowing his battle isn't close to being over. He transforms his face into a mask of severity, "I have an urgent message from your..." He curses to himself as he looks in his dictionary and then smirks, "Your okasan."

"My mother?" The man closes his laptop quickly and stands up in his Dragon Ball pajamas, "Is everything alright?"

"It appears she's sick. The family wants you to come see her." Bayman continues, trying not to spoil his plan by bursting into laughter at the man's ridiculous clothes.

"Fly out? Back to Okinawa? Oh geez!" The man rushes to the closet and tosses it open, throwing all his Anime clothes and costumes into a bag.

"You like Cosplay?" Bayman asks curiously and the man looks over his shoulder and shrugs and answers casually,

"Eh, it's okay. Pays the bills."

"I'll check out for you, don't worry about talking to the girl downstairs." Bayman suggests as the man closes the closet and slips on his shoes,

"Ah, thank you. Thanks for the message." The man bows to Bayman and then rushes out of the room and Bayman cackles maniacally as he jumps down onto the futon. He regrets it immediately, slamming his mouth onto the hard ground underneath and blood spills from his split lip.

"Dammit! What girl is going to kiss me with this?" He bounces up and rushes into the washroom and turns on the sink.

"Maybe I can say I fought a samurai or something...yea, I'll be like, 'You think this is bad, babe? You should've seen the other guy. I like, cut off his arms and then beat him to death wit em'. Hehe, yea!" Bayman turns off the water after splashing his mouth and then towel dries and rushes back into the main room. He takes off his shirt, sucks in his gut, and gets comfortable on the piece of carpet, "Bring on the hotness!" He whispers anxiously and as if on cue, the door swings open.

Bayman looks over intently, but quickly bounds to his feet as a tall, muscular man enters. Something is familiar about those fatigues and that white turban, but Bayman can't quite remember.

"Uh, you look familiar, do I know you?" Bayman asks baffled, fumbling to put his shirt back over his head and Leon looks around suspiciously and then back at Bayman,

"You don't remember me?" Bayman shakes his head and Leon bites back laughter and clears his throat, "Oh, well...I played Duke in the GI Joe, movie."

"Dude, you serious?! Shit, that's awesome! So you was all up in Scarlet right? Oh dude, that chick is mad hot! Damn!" Bayman quickly calms himself down, "But other than that...why are you here? I'm waiting for my girl so if you could please, no offense, Duke...ya know, hit the rocks?" Bayman steps forwards and Leon adjusts his uniform jacket,

"That's actually why I'm here. I don't act anymore, I work for...whoever you set up that appointment up with...and it appears there was a cancellation."

"What!" Bayman yells, attempting to grab Leon's shirt, but Leon counters and tosses him away, but still answers,

"Yea, it seems like a young man named Jann Lee called our offices and canceled the girl that was supposed to be delivered to this room."

Bayman's eyes go as wide as flying saucers and he works his jaw, attempting to find the words. And here he thought they had become friends. That they had left on good terms.

"How could he do that?! He's like Brutus and I'm...I dunno, some dude born in August. This is bullshit! How's he gonna play me like this?" Bayman drops to his knees and covers his face in grief and Leon sighs impatiently,

"Yea...that's terrible. Maybe you should find and confront him about it." Leon suggests a bit blatantly, but Bayman's an idiot.

"Great idea!" Bayman jumps back to his feet and dives into his pocket and laughs at the ticket, "The fool set himself up for failure! He thought he could screw me in the end, but the last screw will be mine!"

"That sounds kinda gay..." Leon observes, stepping backwards and Bayman looks over and points at the address,

"Do you know where this is?" Leon reaches out and Bayman surrenders the ticket without a second thought and Leon studies it,

"Let's go in my car, I'm sure we can find it."

Bayman follows Leon down the stairs in a dead sprint and they leave the hotel, waving good-bye to the very confused receptionist. Leon scans the area quickly with an eagle eye and Bayman taps him on the shoulder,

"Which car is yours?"

"That one!" Leon points to a blue car that pulls up to the curb and rushes towards it like an urban predator. A young woman opens the driver side door, but screams as Leon aggressively rushes up on her. He grabs her head forcefully and slams her forehead into the steering wheel, causing a 'honk' and then tosses her sprawling across the sidewalk.

"I've gotta pick up my kids!" She yells, but Leon ignores her and climbs in and Bayman doesn't hesitate to jump into the passenger seat.

"Was she the valet?" Bayman asks without an intelligent thought in his head and Leon looks out the window at the crying woman and nods,

"Yea..." He pulls away from the curb in a squeal of burning rubber, does a quick donut, and takes off down the wrong side of the road.

"I think you're supposed to drive on the other side!" Bayman screams as Leon wildly dodges oncoming traffic, sending cars spinning out of control and leaving carnage in his wake.

"Nah, kid, this is a new kind of driving. It's called drifting—oh geez, I even feel dirty bringing that up." Leon switches gears and speeds up and Bayman ducks down, hiding in between the dashboard and his seat,

"Are you sure you know where we're going?" He asks, shivering through fright and Leon takes his hands off the wheel for a second to check the ticket again and then nods,

"Yea, we're going the right way." He quickly jerks the car back onto the road after sending twenty-some civilians leaping out of the way, "And why you hassling me for anyways? I'm doing _you_ a favor! Ungrateful kid."

It seems like an eternity of turns and jerks and spins before the car comes to a halt and Bayman lifts his head and peaks out of his hiding place. Leon looks down with a half smirk, half scowl,

"We're here. You should probably lead so Jann doesn't recognize—I mean, since your the one that knows what he looks like." Bayman nods his head uncertainly and pushes the door open and slides himself into the dirt parking lot. The massive tea house is tucked away from the road and civilization in general, but its impressive none-the-less. The outside walls sparkle with meticulous lights and a large red tori gate is erected in front of the entrance.

Bayman pulls himself up off the ground and walks down the cobblestone path to the building with Leon walking a cautious five steps back. Bayman pushes open the wooden doors and is immediately welcomed by two stunning young women wearing green kimonos. The warm, tranquil ambiance of the place could only be transcended by Mount Olympus itself.

"Welcome!" They both say with respectful bows and Bayman wipes drool from his mouth.

"Uh, Hi. We're looking for a friend of mine." Bayman explains and the two women step away from the entrance and point towards the main hallway leading deeper into the tea house,

"You are welcome to find him, but you mustn't slide open any screens that are red. Those are...important clients."

"Inappropriate stuff is going on behind those?" Bayman asks intrigued and the women giggle,

"Please just don't open them."

Bayman shrugs and nods and leads the way deeper into the tea house, the enticing smells of sweets, tea, and sake pulling him forwards. Lining the walls are closed screens, leading to other rooms and Bayman smiles at seeing a red one. He reaches for it, but Leon reaches out and catches his arm,

"Do you not listen kid?"

"Oh c'mon, when girls say, 'don't', they mean, 'only a little'." He grabs the handle and rips the screen open before the occupants have time to clothe and he almost gags.

Two Japanese men, dressed in samurai robes and white loin clothes balance backwards on each other's shoulders as a young Geisha throws raw fish at their already red and dripping ass cheeks. They all look over at Bayman and Leon with frozen expressions of embarrassment and Bayman chokes,

"What in God's name..." He whispers lowly, but Leon slams the screen back closed and slaps Bayman across the back of the head,

"You see what happens! Now find you're Chinese friend so I can do my—I mean, let's keep looking for your...friend..."

Bayman gathers himself and shakes the image from his mind as he continues down the hallway until it merges with an even larger room with a massive stage up front. Men and women are gathered around the stage watching a graceful Geisha wearing a flowing red and white kimono dance atop it mellifluously, spinning two large fans with her petite wrists angelically.

"She got moves." Leon says leaning backwards against the wall as the Geisha hops across the stage, does a back flip, and then starts spinning her legs in the air like a helicopter propeller, balancing on her arms.

"She trying to serve somebody?" Bayman asks as another Geisha comes on stage, wearing an identical kimono and the two spin towards each other like tops and start kicking their legs together, doing some sort of 'Kid 'n Play' moves.

"Can I help you two?" A young woman asks from beside and Bayman looks over at a young black haired girl, struggling to balance three baskets of soiled clothes on her shoulders. Bayman discreetly glances at her name tag, among other things, and smiles,

"Yes, Kokoro, you can."

"Sure thing, what is it?" Kokoro stumbles slightly, but catches her balance as her knees begin to wobble.

"I'm looking for a Chinese guy about our age. He's got spiky black hair and--"

"Jann Lee?" She asks knowingly and Bayman nods quickly,

"Yea, is he here?"

"Oh, no, he's on his way to California to find my daddy. He thought he was still here, but daddy left a few weeks ago with his new business partner...I guess he's visiting some lady he makes me call 'Aunt Maria'. His sister I guess? Maybe, but my mom says daddy's a man whore and that--"

Leon growls and holds his hand up with a peremptory snap,

"Hey, little girl! What time did he leave?" He asks in an eager rush and Bayman looks over with a questioning eye,

"Why are you so passionate about this?" Leon clears his throat loudly,

"I like you, little buddy. But enough emotions, let's go." Leon turns and hurries off and Bayman bows to Kokoro,

"Thanks, Kokoro, if we ever meet again I'll bring you a present. Like a new shamisen or something."

Kokoro giggles and claps her hands together, dropping all the dirty laundry,

"Can I play Guitar Hero on it?" She asks excitedly and Bayman shrugs uncertainly,

"I'm not sure...maybe if it has a USB adapter, but...listen I don't know." Bayman turns around and rushes after Leon as Kokoro begins dancing around, pretending she's strumming on an invisible stringed instrument.

Bayman crouches back down in his safe place as Leon speeds through the night streets of Tokyo, and Bayman has to chuckle to himself at ending off the expedition at the same place they started. Leon screeches to a hurried stop, ignoring the 'no-parking' sign and rushes up onto the sidewalk. Bayman reaches out, ready to warn Leon about the roaming stampede of businessmen, but Leon violently storms through them, sending black suits and cellphones flying through the air.

Bayman smirks as he follows through the gap in the herd and follows Leon into the bustling airport and they both study the crowd. Bayman pushes through the bustle and sees Jann sitting smugly in the lobby in front of a gate. Bayman slams his hand into his fist as he walks towards the double crosser. He pushes a little girl out of his way, and then kicks an occupied kennel sliding across the floor. Nothing will stop him from exacting his vengeance.

"I got knives for sale!" Bayman yells loudly and Jann groggily looks over and his eyes widen, "If you want one, you'll have to yank them out of my back!" Bayman scowls at Jann as the Chinese boy stands up confused,

"Hey, Bayman! How'd you find me? Come to see me off?" He smiles and Bayman clinches his hand into a fist and swings, but misses by a good foot. Jann catches the chubbier boy before he falls and hauls him back to his feet,

"Are you drunk or something?"

"No, and it's thanks to you, psychopath! I could be slurping sake off of a Japanese hookers' booty right now, but you had to come along!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You canceled my girl, damn you! What did I ever do to you? You were a brother to me! I loved you!" Bayman grabs Jann's shirt and reaches back again, but Jann looks passed Bayman and spots Leon walking towards them.

"Oh shit, Bayman, look!" Jann easily dodges the next attack and spins Bayman around to face Leon, "This is no time to be fighting each other!

"Don't worry about him, he's my muscle!" Bayman demands, pulling away from Jann and Jann's mouth gapes,

"What are you talking about? You brought him here?!"

"Your damn right! Now whatchu gonna do?" Jann slams his fist into Bayman's gut, sending the boy squealing to the floor and then kicks him in the face.

"You, doop! He's the man that Amalda sent!" Jann explains furiously, ripping Bayman's shoe off his foot and then starts slamming it into his back. Bayman covers his head as he rolls back and forth, trying to distribute the punishment,

"It's not my fault! When he came to me, he was wearing a Kabuki mask!" Jann stops hitting him for a second,

"Serious?"

"No...I'm just a dumbass..." Bayman starts crying and Jann stops lashing him and tosses his shoe back.

He flexes his muscles and prepares himself as Leon finally reaches them after stopping to buy a Pepsi from the concession stand.

"There's nowhere to run, Jann. Just give this up and come with me."

"You tricked me, Lion!" Bayman cries from the ground and Leon looks down and nods,

"Yes, I did, but I'm not a French skateboarding punk that wears an orange life vest. I actually could have killed you, but I figured you're about as pitiful as a fin-less fish."

"What? No fins at all? I can't even have one working one like Nemo!" Bayman continues crying and Jann sighs,

"We're not going back, Leon. Keep trying, but I'm not one to give up."

"Nor am I." Leon takes an intimidating step forwards, but Jann holds his hands out quickly,

"Wait, one final wish?" Leon stops and looks at him with a leery squint, but nods. Jann smirks and spins around, "Kikuchi-san!" A little old lady turns around slowly and Jann curses, "Nagashima-kun!" A little boy looks up from his lolipop and Jann slaps himself, "Uh, Furukawa Toshio-dono!" Finally an official of airport security turns around and Jann points,

"This guy is a terrorist! Check out the Taliban Turban!" Jann yells and Leon attempts to grab him, but like a ninja, probably because he is one, Toshio leaps forwards and grabs Leon around the neck. Leon chokes as he is pulled backwards and Jann turns and runs towards the gate as the plane begins boarding. He stops halfway though, forgetting his doop of a partner, "Bayman, you ass, get up!" A new hope sparkles in Bayman's eyes as he scrambles to his feet and follows, running with only one shoe.

"Hey, get off me!" Leon yells as he struggles away from Toshio, but more Japanese ninja security enclose his position and trap him in a tight circle, "Oh, c'mon, I don't want to have fight you little Korean midgets!"

"What you say? Do I look Korean?!" Toshio yells, ripping his katana from its sheathe and Leon scowls at him,

"Would I have said it if you didn't?"

"You trying to terrorize the Japanese people with your threatening bombs? Just because we had our army taken away? You serve Kim Jong?"

"Woah, wait, now you're calling _me_ Korean?" Leon looks over his shoulder and scowls as Jann and Bayman disappear through the gate, "Geez, c'mon! I have to catch those boys! I need the money! This bitch Rolande has been trying to hit me up with child support payments for like ten months. I'm broke, dammit!"

"We don't care...any and every kind of terrorist must be brought down!" Leon only has time to thrust his arms in front of his face as ten katanas flash at his face.

Jann Lee and Bayman plop down in their seats huffing, puffing, and laughing all at once.

"I'm sorry I almost got us caught, Jann. We still boyz?" Bayman puts his closed fist out and Jann smirks and finishes off the daps,

"Yea, I guess. We started this shit together, let's finish it in the land of opportunity! Loose girls, crooked cops, and hackneyed cinema. You feelin it?" Bayman nods excitedly,

"I'm just sorry that you had to pay for my ticket since I'm broke.

"Oh yea, that reminds, me, what _did_ you do with your money?"

A bleeding Leon stumbles into room 315 and turns on the light, surprised to a see a Japanese girl standing in the middle of the room wearing some crazy ass clothes that ridiculously epitomize self expression...but the pink dyed hair aint bad.

"There you, gawd, I've been waiting for like two hours." Leon begins unbuttoning his shirt and looks up,

"Which one are you? Love, Angel, Music, or Baby?" The girl contorts her pink and silver painted face in confusion,

"What?"

"It doesn't matter, I've had a long day. Just take off your clothes."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

"That's why I tell kids like you, the drug game is cool you know, but in some ways it's not cool, but mostly...it's cool." - Gangstalicious (The Boondocks)

Jann and Bayman immediately begin coughing and hacking as they are welcomed by the Los Angeles' pollution. Bayman pulls his shirt over his mouth as they make their way down the sidewalk to where the taxis are waiting outside of LAX.

"Hey, yo, thats our thang!" A man yells viciously and Bayman spins around to see six black guys walking over wearing loose and baggy clothes. The centerpiece of their wardrobe is that their white shirts over their mouths.

"Dis lil white boy tryin to jack our gear!" Another spits and Bayman's eyes begin to water, and not only from the harsh air.

"Wait, wait, he's just trying to not to inhale these fumes ya'll call oxygen!" Jann defends, but the men don't relent,

"He got five seconds to drop his shirt!" The leader yells, pulling out an M16 and Bayman doesn't hesitate to let his shirt back down, "Daz betta. Now kick it!" Bayman and Jann run the rest of the way to the taxis and quickly load into one, locking their doors fearfully.

"This place blows." Bayman groans as the taxi driver turns around and both Bayman and Jann almost choke at seeing the turban, but luckily it's not Leon, just someone else of terrorist decent.

"Where you go?" He asks in a thick, almost unintelligible accent and Jann dives into his pocket and holds out the address that Kokoro gave him,

"You know where this is?" The driver nods and takes off quickly, leaving the airport behind.

The cab ride lasts for maybe ten minutes in heavy, bumper to bumper slow moving traffic before purple clothed gangsters swarm around the taxi. Bayman looks at his clothes confused, wondering what he did this time as the leader rips the driver's door open and yanks him out.

"You can kill me, just don't take my car!" The driver yells as the man throws him on the ground and the other members open Bayman and Jann's doors and reach in.

"We yield, we yield!" Bayman yells as a silver and black haired Asian guy grabs him around the collar and throws him out.

"Saints, away!" The gang takes off down the street, blasting rap music as they go and Bayman and Jann both scurry to the sidewalk to avoid being run over. The driver just cries in the middle of the road, cradling his beaded seat cover.

"Are these the guys you're going to be fighting?" Bayman asks apprehensively, "Because if so, you got more training to do."

"No friggin kiddin. These bastards don't mess around." Jann dusts himself off, angered at being man-handled by a man wearing purple.

Bayman grabs his empty stomach with a scowl, regretting not eating that earwax on the plane, but all of his horrors of L.A. are erased as he sees four busty girls dancing outside the entrance of a restaurant wearing white tank-tops and the tightest, shortest orange booty shorts he has ever seen.

"Dude, dude, dude, dude!" Bayman repeats excitedly, tugging on Jann's arm fervently and Jann turns around and scowls,

"Bayman, we don't have time for that."

"This is my dream, Jann! My dream!!!" Bayman drops down to the ground, grabbing the bottom of Jann's pants crying.

"Hey, we've patented that pose!" The boys looks over and see a gang of five French guys, wearing all white clothes, but their not daunting in the slightest.

"Okay, whatever, but quickly." Jann finally submits and Bayman giggles like a little girl and takes off towards the restaurant that has a big owl for its mascot.

He rushes in and almost wets himself at seeing his utopia, the kingdom from his dreams. Bounce, bounce, bounce, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, and there's probably some faces attached, but who cares?

"Welcome to Hooters!" The greeter smiles widely, but Bayman isn't focusing on her teeth, "You can sit wherever you'd like!" She waves her arm, motioning across the crowded booths and tables and Bayman just can't decide.

"Come on!" Jann drags Bayman across the sticky floor, and throws him down in a corner booth and takes his seat impatiently.

"Duuuude, check those out!" Bayman motions with his head, trying not to point with his arms and Jann turns around and even he's surprised at the size. Those can't be real...

"Hiya, boys! How are ya! I'm Tina and I'm gonna be your guys' server!" The busty blond says a bit too chipper, pulling the menus from her cleavage and tossing them on the table.

Bayman's head falls forwards and hits the table and Jann rubs his ears. The body's cool and all, but that voice has got to go.

"Can I start ya'll off with some drinks? Sweet Tea? Lemonade?" She asks, leaning over and Bayman starts shaking tremulously, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

"Yea, we'll both have lemonade." Jann says with a dismissing wave and Tina smiles and winks,

"Okay boys, be right up!" She jumps up as she spins and Bayman starts slamming his head into the stained wall.

"This place isn't that great. I mean, sure there's girls, but this food doesn't seem very impressive." Jann observes through boredom, looking over at the other table as a man starts choking on a half cooked chicken wing, "Poor bastard."

"Oh no, he's in trouble!" A girl yells and Jann turns to look as a black girl rushes over and grabs the man from behind and thrusts her fists into his midsection.

"Duuude, give me a chicken bone, give me a chicken bone!" Bayman yells, flailing with his arms as the man spits the bone away and the girl does a celebration dance.

She does some crazy capoeira dance moves, flipping her legs in cartwheels and even Jann is entranced. She finally halts her movements,

"I am the winner!" Everyone within the restaurant starts clapping and she waves blushing and Tina returns with the lemonade and Jann grimaces at whatever's floating in the bottom of the glass.

"Aint Lisa amazing? She's going to school! To become some sort of a...science...dentist?"

Bayman tries to lift his head away from the table to drink some of his lemonade, but he seems to have lost most of his motor skills.

"Can I have a different glass?" Jann asks and Tina pouts as she looks down,

"Are you saying the lemonade I made ya aint good enough?"

"Just do it." Jann orders, pushing the glass away in disgust and Bayman's eyes widen,

"I know you're not demanding anything of this sweet, sweet angel!"

"Yea, maybe a little bit more polite? I'm a pretty girl with big boobs, I demand respect! You should be drooling all over me, peon!" Tina pouts and turns around peevishly and Jann scoffs,

"Don't bite the hand that tips you, bitch, it'll be the hand that slaps you." Jann rises from his seat and Tina screams and as if summoned, a massive white sumo wrestler comes rushing from the kitchens.

"TINNNNNNAAAAA!!!!" He jumps in front of the table and Jann bounds backwards towards the wall, trying to erase the sight from his eyes.

The blubbery, pale man wears nothing but an orange apron over some much too small red bloomer looking undergarments. He shakes all over as he reaches his sausage fingers at Jann,

"You dare make my Tina, cry?! No one hurts my TINNNAA!!!" Jann looks down at the looming, sticky floor, but has no choice. He quickly rushes downwards and slides out of the chair, underneath the table, and scrambles between the man's legs and behind.

"Daddy, look out!" Tina's warning is too late as Jann does a quick leaping roundhouse, sending the massive hog of a man slamming into the table. He dusts his hands off and spins around,

"Any more cooks wanna mess?" Jann asks and Tina scowls and slaps her hands together and then holds her hands into the air,

"Girls, get these two!"

"_These two?_ I'm innocent!" Bayman yells, but they ignore his plea as a knife slams into the wall right next to his head.

"American girls don't care about innocent or guilty, just run!" Jann pushes Tina out of the way as he bolts for the door, dodging Lisa who now has a green Lucha-Libre mask on. He finally reaches the sunlight and spins in an aimless direction and continues running, looking over his shoulder to see a panting and red faced Bayman with twenty pairs of zeppelins in pursuit.

"Nuh-uh, honeys, thats our thang!" Every one spins at a group of muscular men wearing identical, tight fitting outfits to the girls, just in green. Jann can't stop himself from vomiting this time.

"The Spirit Squad is going to save us!" Bayman squeals and the five blond haired men rush forwards to meet the other team.

"Let's hide over there for now!" Jann points to an alley behind a Taco Bell and Bayman longingly looks over his shoulder one last time, but follows reluctantly.

"Those gay guys aren't going to appreciate that. How cool would it be to be ravished by those Hooter Girls? Ah dude, I gotta change my pants...maybe even my skin." Bayman chuckles and Jann opens his mouth to call him twenty different kind of idiot, but a man's voice interrupts his thoughts,

"Yo, boys, wutz good?" Bayman and Jann look up to a tall, slender black guy wearing black shades. The top of his head is bald so there's really no 'straight' way of telling if his green goatee is natural.

"What's up with you? We jack your gear too?" Jann asks, but immediately regrets it at seeing the man's cut off shorts and yellow open vest with some sort of little alien emblem on it.

"Nah, bro, no one's brave nuff to jack ma gear, but lizzen up. Zack Attack totally gon hook ya'll up." The man snaps his fingers and leads the way out of the alley and points at the Taco Bell drive through menu.

"Look, we're not really interested in--" Jann begins, but Zack holds his hand up,

"Lizzen yo, I'm gon teach ya'll how to cheat tha crook'd fast food system! Now look, how much is a soft taco?"

"In America or Japan?" Bayman bursts into laughter and holds out his fist for some dap, but both Zack and Jann shake their heads and leave him hangin.

"Now look, thaz less than a dollar. Same wit the burrito! But look! This is where they getchu! The drinks! Startin at a dollar twenty, you serious?" Zack slaps the large menu angrily and a Hispanic woman sticks her head out the drive thru window,

"Sorry, sirs, but we no serve walk up customers." Zack spins around furious,

"Duz it look like I'm ordering, biatch!" Zack grabs a rock from the ground and hurls it at her, but she ducks down and closes the windows, "Slippery illegals." Zack mutters under his breathe and Jann and Bayman both start tip-toeing away, but he catches them, "Hey, we not done hur yet!"

"Oh of course not." Bayman laughs nervously and he and Jann both walk to the menu.

"So...uh, how do you beat this terrible fast food scam?" Zack cackles diabolically and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a plastic Taco Bell cup,

"Ya bring yo own! Cuz deez dumbasses have da drink station on tha customer side of tha counter. So just order food, and use yo old cup, haha, dat shits hot right?" His eyes are so excited and proud that Jann doesn't want to deny him.

"Oh yea, that's amazing..."

"But what happens when they run promotions?" Bayman asks, truly concerned and Zack nods his head,

"Thats when it gets a bit hairy. You don't wanna get caught with a E.T. cup when Star Wars comes out, ya know?"

"You again!!" Jann's throat goes dry at that voice and he hesitantly looks over his shoulder and almost wants to cry at seeing Leon, not three feet from them.

"This bastard's good." Bayman cries, but Leon's glare isn't focused on the two boys.

"You got every reason to be sweatin like an escaped slave, you fairy!" Leon growls and Zack tries to steady his wobbling knees,

"Look, dawg, she wanted me! It aint my fault...I mean shit, look at yo face and then look at mine!" Zack reaches into his pocket and tosses a mirror at Leon, but with his massive fist, he sends it shattering to the ground.

"Stop throwing mirrors! That's what you got in trouble in the first place! You've stolen one too many men's women, Zacky boy. And now she's sweatin me for child support! She know that black baby aint mine!" Bayman and Jann look one from man to the other and Jann finally holds his hand up,

"So...you're not after us anymore?"

"Nah, boys, I've got bigger fish to fry at the moment."

"Cat fish?" Zack asks, sticking his nose in the air sniffing deeply and Leon growls and charges at him. Zack yelps and spins, running as fast as his legs can take him and both Bayman and Jann stare at eachother,

"We the shit."

The two boys wander around the mean streets of L.A. for thirty minutes with Jann's address and a bum's crudely drawn map for guidance. Jann smiles as he finally finds his destination, but he looks at the building queerly.

"A house?" Jann looks around at the poor residential area and Bayman shrugs,

"Maybe the man works from home?"

"Where's all the other fighters? The man has a bicycle in his drive-way! Where's his Lamborghini?" Jann rushes to the front door and knocks loudly.

The door opens with a creak and a man's emotionless face comes into view.

"You Fame Douglas?" Jann asks impatiently and the man shakes his head with a scowl,

"No, I'm his...'assistant' Donovan. You lookin for the 'oh great Fame Douglas' my 'lord and commander'?" He asks through sarcastic scorn and Jann slowly nods,

"Sure..."

"Yea, cool, he's in the back." Donovan opens the door the rest of the way and motions for the boys to enter the small house.

It's clean enough, but scant, with very little furniture and the cracked walls are empty with the exception of a few art pieces that seem to have printed from a computer. A young blond haired girl walks into the main room,

"Oh, we have company?" She asks cheerily and Donovan looks over,

"Yea...they're looking for your daddy." He says apathetically as he plops down on the sofa and opens a porno mag.

"Would you guys like some drinks?" She asks and Bayman smirks,

"Hell yea, cutie, I could use--" The girl unexpectedly transforms from a cute little go-getter, to...something else,

"What did you just say to me? Did you pig mouth form the courage to call me a 'cutie'?" She asks arrogantly, walking forwards with her head held high, her nose pompously pointed at the ceiling, "Do you wish to say something else?"

"N—no." Bayman walks backwards as a voice calls out from behind an empty door in the back of the room,

"Donovan, dammit! Another red bull, dammit! Now!" Donovan groans loudly, tossing his magazine on the ground and dives underneath the couch. He pulls out a small blue and red can and gingerly rubs it over his crotch,

"Yes, milord, I'm on the way." He then tosses the can down the back of his pants, jiggles around, and then pulls it out, "Hey, China, you wanna see him? Take this to him."

Donovan tosses the can to Jann, and Jann quickly backs up and catches it disgustedly in a canopy with his shirt,

"I need to get to the bottom of this." Jann grumbles and walks in between the girl and Bayman, but stops at the doorknob. This adventure just isn't going the way he planned. How could a man go from such an extraordinary Tea House to this rinky-dink house. He takes a deep breathe, gathers himself, and pushes the door open.

A blast of Aerosmith music slams into him as he enters the dark room, the only source of light coming from the flat screen monitor in which the man sits behind, typing vigorously. Jann studies the back of Fame's disheveled head and steps forwards dubiously.

"Mr...Douglas?" Jann asks and the swivel chair spins around and Jann bounds backwards in shock. The nerdiest white guy he has ever seen, wearing coke bottle glasses, sporting a half shaved mustache and sideburns, and acne from the top of his hairline down to his chin.

"You're not Donovan!" He says in a squeaky voice and Jann lets the can fall to the floor and balls both of his hands into fists,

"You...you're the proprietor of a Fighting Tournament?"

"What?" Fame asks, pushing his taped glasses closer to his eyes squinting and Jann forces his rage back down into his center,

"D.O.A. The advertisement on the Internet?" Jann explains as patiently as possible and Fame chuckles like some hyena,

"Ah yea, the flyer I made with my new Photo Shop program! I spammed it around to ask people for feedback on my mechanics."

Jann grabs his chest, trying to contain his rapid heart and his eyes begin twitching,

"You...you can't be serious...you can't be..."

"You thought it was actually a tournament? Wow, thats great! That means my skills are looking a lot more genuine! One day I'm going to be the best graphic artist in the world!" Jann leaps forwards and grabs Fame by his skinny shoulders and shakes him violently,

"You son of a bitch! I came all the way from Europe! I've been through hell! And for what! I mean at least stay with the Tea House! You idiot!"

"I would've, but Miyako took it from me in the divorce! Hey, stop shaking me! Donovan, I summon you!!!" Fame screams and Jann lets go and bounces backwards and spins around, ready to fend off Donovan, but the man still sits on the couch, flipping through his magazine. Jann turns back around and spits on the floor,

"You've ruined my life, Fame Douglas, and one day I'm going to kill you." Jann demands and Bayman leans forwards into the room,

"I dunno why...it just seems like I should say that." Jann pushes Bayman back out the door and turns around, slamming the door behind him.

"Donovan, why do you work for that piddly man?" Jann asks angrily and Donovan licks his finger and flips the page over,

"His daughter, Helena...she'll be a sex kitten when she grows up." He flips the page again and Helena growls,

"What did you say to me, Slave?!" She leaps at Donovan, but he holds his leg out and kicks her in the face,

"Quit being so stuck up or you gonna get somthin stuck up in you, feel me?" He kicks her again and continues reading...the articles...

Jann hangs his head low and walks out the front door, leaving the house and his dreams behind. Bayman thinks to reach over and comfort him as they walk back to the curb, but he catches a glimpse of a silver haired woman standing beside him. He looks over and smirks at her slutty, immoral black outfit. Barely anything at all really, just enough to cover the naughty bits and some black cat ears to top it off.

"Yo." Bayman giggles and the woman looks over uninterested,

"You're too young."

"Hey, if I pay you, you better deliver," Bayman shakes his fist at her, "You're not a person anyways. Hookers have no souls." The woman jerks her head back around, her eyes flashing fire,

"What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor, cuz he's hungry, and the only way to feed him is ta sleep with a man for a--"

"Bitch, shut up right there." Jann snaps and the woman chokes on her words, "Taco Bell is hiring, so don't bring me that shit." Tears work into her eyes and she scowls at him,

"One day I'm gonna stop hooking and become an assassin and you're going to be my first target!"

"Good luck to ya." Jann answers callously and the woman runs away crying and Bayman laughs,

"Damn, dude, it's not the end of the world. You know...if this was a movie we'd form some sort of ingenious plan and go back to Switzerland to save all the other children..."

"Is this a movie?" Jann asks, looking over and Bayman shakes his head, "I didn't think so."

"Well what now? Strip Club?" Bayman suggests casually and Jann shakes his head,

"I'd be too tempted to kill the stripp--"

Screeching tires announce a black van, turning the corner precariously and Jann and Bayman jump backwards as it halts right in front of them. The door slides open and five men wearing black and grey fatigues jump out.

"Bayman! You're coming with us!"

"Woah, who are you guys? From the orphanage? The airline?"

"Russian Special Forces, kid, we're looking for recruits." The lead man grabs Bayman around his midsection and the boy squeals, reaching for Jann, but the Chinese boy takes a couple steps back, "Kid, don't you want to avenge your parents? To show the people of Russia that their country doesn't belong to the criminal and the corrupt?"

"No! I don't!!" He yells, still flailing for Jann, "C'mon, Jann, help me!!"

"I'll write to you." Jann answers and tears burst from Bayman's abandoned face and the door slides closed and the van takes off with Jann waving good-bye to this ridiculous chapter of his life. He dives his hands into his pockets, exhales deeply, and starts walking down the sidewalk. He catches a glimpse of a flyer hanging on a light pole and a certain sparkle lights up in his eyes. 'BE THE NEXT TOP VIRTUA FIGHTER'. Jann grabs the paper from the pole with a newfound energy, growls, and barbarically rips the paper to shreds,

"Don't f'ck with me!!"

A/N : Thanks to everyone who read this and I hope you enjoyed it. There were ups and downs like all the rest of my stuff, but hopefully it was good enough to keep you entertained to the end. Don't choke on any Ween Candy!!

-To the Saviors-

-Thunder, always a pleasure, and thanks for stopping by!

-Nissepisse, I hope you enjoyed it to the end. Thanks for the review about the start, because I think that was the rockiest part for me so it really helped!

-James Hanson, yo, thanks for the review. Yea, I don't like Hayate much so I tried to make him a 'villain'. I was stealin ideas from Chan-woo Park's Trilogy in that segment, and that involved a bit of incest so I stuck Hayate and Kasumi in there. I hope you enjoyed it none-the-less.


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